Well as for the date, it went well….

I also keep thinking now that i have posted on social media, i cant make mistakes because a lot of people are focusing on me now…. I’d be embarrassing if i did mistakes….

If they know what im doing in my office, only learning and sometimes even fell asleep due to sleepy, a lot of people who notice my relationship will definitely judge me…..

I look like im a lazy and spoilt guy right?

I posted two posts above, but one of the posts are  awaiting moderation…. So it might come out late…

I thought you were talking about surprising her with them in your car? Considering that you said that she has difficulty expressing emotions in public. That sounds like a good idea if you would like to see her express herself freely.

= yes, i’m planning to surprise her in the car, but the problem is there are 2 gifts which is a handbag and a bracelet and i plan to surprise those 2 gifts separately….

The handbag will be before the dinner and the bracelet will be after the dinner….. but in ur opinion do u think im giving her too much? I’m afraid she might have a bad impression on me that i give her too many gifts… because if im not wrong, at first u said that one of the handbag or bracelet is enough is it?

Also i wanna share a bit, and thank you helcat for always listening to me… im really really grateful for it 🥹

So i used to hate my city as its boring, and i have no purpose here and i have very little friends…. But since i met her, everything changed i love my city, i have a purpose here, i want to spend lots of time with her here, yes im planning to have holidays in other places with her, but regarding the place where im residing i want it to be here with her….

And about the social media, do u have any opinions on it?
As i still havent decide whether i should post it or not….

As well as how i should surprise her with the bracelet and handbag, do u have any opinions on it?

Dear helcat,

Yes im still uncertain whether to post the relationship on social media or not…. I need to be absolutely ready regarding all the judgements….

This issue does bring up some old thoughts, like what i’ve shared before that people tease my small house, and also i used to get mocked due to my family business which is an aquarium store as the shop is wet, and of course sometimes people make fun and underestimate me due to my appearance which is short….

And also i fear most boys (who followed my social media) might notice and look at her…. I dont want those boys to look at her and get attracted….. But i also want to post our relationship to show that she already has a boyfriend….

The date went well, but i did some mistakes… at night we watch stand up comedy show, but i didnt know the stand up comedy would have a lot of 18+ jokes…. I’m so afraid she might judge me, i blame myself why didnt i check more detail about it…. But luckily i think she’s quite ok with the show and doesnt judge or blame me…..

Also on that day i was so hasty, that i wanna quickly impress her…. I present her a valentine gift (not the handbag or bracelet) but a box filled with our pics and a letters that i wrote…. And her respond is very normal and not surprised or emotional….. and she laugh and told me that i give this too quick….. I really blame myself…. I was too worried that i might give her too much gifts on valentines day so i decided to give this one earlier, but turns out i was too quick…..

So on valentines day, which is tomorrow…. I plan to surprise her with the bracelet and handbag…. At first i plan to just give it to her along with the flowers when she get in the car… but i dont want her to have a normal reaction….. i also dont know what to write (as i plan to give a letter too for the gifts on valentines day) as all my ideas are written in the letter of that box (the box in which she has a normal reaction)…. She used to told me that she feels more emotional when there isnt a lot of people… so i cant surprise her in the hotel (the place where we are going to have our valentine dinner), then the surprise must be at my car…

I want to surprise her by asking her to close her eyes and put on the bracelet for her…. But im confused on how should i surprise her with the handbag… also with the flowers….

I feel hurt seeing both of our pics, like i keep imagining if she leave me due to LDR like leaving our city, i’m going to look at that pic with full of sadness….. i may not be able to handle that trauma…

I’ll do everything to make her stay…. I’ll do my best to make her happy….

Dear helcat,

So what u are suggesting is that i shouldnt think too much on something that is not concrete?

But still although it’s not concrete, there is still possibilities for it to happen….

And yes, you may be right it doesnt prepare and prevent that future….. so what should i do then? I feel like i need to do something to prepare and prevent, because if i do nothing i could get worse….

Because i know, with my qualities i wont be able to hold her if she wanna leave for the capital… that’s why im trying to prevent her from thinking of leaving our city…. I never want to discuss about the capital with her so she wont remember or think about it…. Is helpful in ur opinion?

But if think about her leaving our city, there could lots of reasons that could cause her to leave…. And i dont think i can prevent it all…. I feel so worried because i’ve been looking for a girl like her for a long time, and i finally found her…. I wanna cherish and love her…. That’s why i dont wanna cause any mistakes that cause her to leave…. I dont know if this sound like the “addiction of anxiety”  that u talked about above, i just speak what’s inside my mind…