Forum Replies Created
July 20, 2020 at 6:31 am #362144
Hi, Helen. That sounds so wonderful. I had one scrapbook I created, but I lost interest in it. It’s good to keep memories in scrapbooks, journals, and anything else that holds sentimental value to you.July 20, 2020 at 6:24 am #362141
Guilt is the heaviest burden that you can ever hold onto yourself. It weakens your ability to be resilient in life. Based on the responses that I’ve read, it sounds like you have complex guilt over your sexuality, thoughts, and your past mistakes. I hope that you have a connection to therapy to help hear your unresolved trauma.
AiyanaJune 24, 2020 at 2:29 pm #359451
Even if you are isolated, at least you have me and other people that you can talk to over the Internet. For that, we should be grateful. Although, I do want to roll my eyes at people who act like morons who don’t follow basic health procedures.
The protests over black people being killed by the police are still happening. I haven’t gone to any because I want to stay safe from the Corona virus. I don’t know what to do, Anita. If it wasn’t for the pandemic, I would be doing everything in my power to try to get to Canada. America just doesn’t have a soul, anymore. I don’t mean to get political, but given what’s happened these past four years, I feel that I need to say something. I’m glad you’re still safe and following the rules.
If the pandemic ever lifts up and it’s safe for us to go out again, I’ll try to go and leave behind a country I’m embarrassed to say that I’m a citizen of now. I know you should be proud of where you come from, and I am. But when you look at people who look like you getting killed for no good reason, you start to question if you deserve to belong in America. I even told my Twitter followers not to be surprised if I end up in Canada since I’m seriously considering it now.
I’ve never had citizenship in another country. I know it will be time consuming and expensive, but I won’t keep living in America so that a white person shoots me and I end up another hashtag on social media where people will forget me after a while.June 24, 2020 at 2:08 pm #359448
Oh, and I just had a Duh moment. I can’t travel anywhere because there’s a pandemic. I hope you are staying safe though. I’m still wearing masks when I’m out, avoiding crowds, and washing my hands as often as possible.June 24, 2020 at 1:58 pm #359447
You took the words right out of my mouth, but in a good way.
I meant airports that were open, but if you don’t still don’t understand, that’s alright.
And it’s true. I used to be in my high school drama club and I acted in a few plays.
How are you dealing with Covid-19 in your country? Are you following the regulations? I would love it if I won an Academy Award for my acting. I don’t even know if that’s happening now. The future seems so unsure for everybody.June 24, 2020 at 10:52 am #359412
No. She wasn’t exactly annoyed or angry. It was just stuff that I had already heard a thousand times before. Plus, she was opening a package while doing it. I just wanted some encouragement as in “You’re doing a good job finding anything you can to get employed.” I already know the world doesn’t owe me anything. I just want to catch a lucky break.
At this point, I’m just doing me. I don’t even give a crap about that lady who once thought I was insane for wanting to be a famous actress. It happened a long time ago, but she was basically a writer like me and for some reason, it never seemed like she could be pleased with anything. I’m glad I don’t talk to her anymore though because she once called me bipolar, which for the record, is something I don’t have. What a gaslighting jerk. She’s bitter too. Ironically, she writes erotica even though she told me that she’s remaining celibate.
Other than that, I asked you about your travel borders because I’ve always wanted to travel around the world. I know I’ll achieve my dreams and no one will stop me.June 24, 2020 at 9:09 am #359407
The Sims Game is usually fun. The challenge was made by someone else. I just followed them online and it seemed like a fun challenge to do. I’m on my ninth kid. They’ll be born in 24 hours.
My youngest sister was a piece of work today
I got frustrated with my job search. I had spent five years looking for a job and she gives this condescending speech on how I can’t give up and that her boyfriend applies for jobs. But what really hurt was the implication that I hadn’t tried hard enough to be employed. Before that, I had told her that I want to try to be self employed and just make my own money. To me, it doesn’t sense to keep applying to jobs if I’m not getting picked. What if ten years go by and I’m still in the same place? Also, are your travel borders opened? I want to get a passport to leave my country asap. I’m trying to go back to getting a driver’s license too. Thank God no one knows about that.June 19, 2020 at 12:28 pm #358976
I was able to get my spirits more happy today. I’m doing a Sims game challenge called the 100 Baby Challenge. I got the inspiration from a woman named Kelsey from the YouTube channel Buzzfeed Multiplayer. So far, I have 7 kids. I thought I was going to reach 10, but the other kids didn’t belong to the Sim. It’s likely that two of the kids are going to age up.
Jason liked my story. He enjoyed the characters and said that my voice sounded really strong. How are things with you?
AiyanaJune 18, 2020 at 8:44 am #358855
I read your last message. It’s good that you know a lot about Sardinia. I published a blog post about my family. I’m usually a person who prefers to keep things private, but since I can’t go to therapy for mostly financial reasons, I figured that writing about my issues on my blog, Chameleon Black Woman, was the next best option. I know you’re probably tired of hearing this, but I still have issues dealing with them, mostly my mom and my stepfather these days. I’ll spare you the details of what happened, but I decided to just keep focusing on myself. I’m not going to live the rest of my life trying to get people’s approval on how to be an adult. I’m not a junkie, a prostitute, or someone who exhibits reckless behavior of any sorts.
So I ended up telling my mother basically that it doesn’t matter what I feel and that I would just stick to my own routine from now on. I can’t keep doing this pattern of minding my own business and then stupid stuff gets in the way where I end up walking to the park to always calm down. That’s why I’m going to keep doing what I’ve been doing: apply for jobs, get income from my tarot card readings, and play that Word Relax game where I can get some extra dough. If you want a reading, my Cashapp is $pshakespeare and my PayPal is Provincialshakesp. I hope things are better at your end of the forest. My friend, Jason, is reading my Human Grenades book right now. I’m sorry I’m not in happier spirits.
AiyanaJune 11, 2020 at 7:32 am #358249
You can just call me Aiyana since we’re going on a first name basis. To answer your question, that’s a tough one. For a long time, I wanted to travel to Italy. Last year, one of my goals was to go to an island there called Sardinia. I haven’t quite found the exact reason why I want to travel to certain places. I always thought I wanted to because I love exploring other cultures. Hopefully, I can relax there too and away from the horrors that are happening in America right now. I found this link to learn more about the wonderful island.
Relaxing on the beach sounds like a good idea. But before I do that, I need to save money. Traveling isn’t cheap. I also don’t know if it’s the right to travel due to Covid 19. I want to be 100% sure that I don’t contract it when the borders are less restricted.
Do you know any foreign languages? I know Italian. I’m trying to be a polyglot.June 10, 2020 at 6:39 am #358123
Yes, Paolo is a man that Alia meets in Italy. I’m sure Venice and Rome were wonderful. And the term “Operainian” is a word I made up to describe Alia’s culture. I am almost at 35000 words now! I hope that you have a wonderful day today, and feel free to ask me anything anytime!
AiyanaJune 10, 2020 at 5:54 am #358118
I can tell you.
It’s a forbidden love story revolving an Operainian and an Italian fighting against the council in Alia’s country. Alia travels to Italy in hopes that she will be free to live the life she’s always wanted. The problem is that she doesn’t know that Paolo is harboring some trauma and secrets of his own.
I worked on this story for 7 years. I started it back in 2013. And as far as traveling goes, I’m not sure how restricted the borders are yet. I’ll have to keep watching the news and researching to find out. Have you ever traveled to other countries of the world?June 9, 2020 at 5:49 pm #358077
That’s good, Anita. And I think it was good for me too. It helped me rediscover my path for life. Even though COVID-19 is still happening, I still want to travel all over the world. It’s one of my biggest dreams. I’m also almost done with one of my stories that I worked on for seven years called Human Grenades. I hope you heal from your mosquito bites.June 9, 2020 at 5:30 pm #358071
The mail system got sorted out.
I am taking more breaks off social media and everything is okay at home again.April 15, 2020 at 2:46 pm #349730
I got scammed from a fraudulent email and my parents weren’t happy about it. Now I have to fix the problem on my own. I’m still glad that they’ll never go on this website.
And Peter, I appreciate your feedback on that. I establish boundaries right now by spending a lot of time in my room. I thought if I had done things through my actions, they would get the point. Apparently with them, I have to use words and actions. I’m also going to look up the law to see what they’re entitled to. There’s no way one of their names can be on my bank account. I know I made mistakes with it before, but if I learn how to manage money, I won’t make those mistakes again. They don’t even have to believe me. I believe in me. Because everything they’ve said for me these past ten years at our house has been nothing but unnecessary opinions. You should hear my stepdad. He’s a real Jarhead. He has this stupid motto “Work smarter, not harder.” That’s just insulting to me. It’s like you’re implying to someone that they’re an idiot through and through. I’m not surprised though. He has a low tolerance for idiots.
Anyway, I’ll have to use the law, boundaries, and my basic rights as a human to prove that I can live independently.