Forum Replies Created
December 10, 2021 at 6:56 pm in reply to: I need help, would a girl reject me because of my parents sibling problems? #389664
Can anyone give some more advice regarding this issue?
I’d really appreciate it 😊
Do i have to be more intelligent in your opinion, so that i can have a more fluent conversation and feel less nervous with anyone?
I’ve consulted the dentist (my regular dentist) after cleansing my teeth… and i ask him if i can wear braces…. He told me that i can but he didnt recommend because he told me my teeth was okay and it’s only because of one tooth at the front row that goes backwards… he told me that the pain was not worth it for one tooth…After having some thoughts with myself, i decided to follow his advice…
And also after having a conversation with the dentist… i realize that i still struggle in keeping a conversation with someone…. When he ask me what do i do now, and i can only tell him that i’m helping my parents in the office.. and that’s it nothing more… I can only ask him questions but i cant be the “explainer”
It’s not only with this dentist, but with other people too…. Usually it’ll end up with me nodding my head and i dont know how to continue the convo…
Most of my conversations are usually with my closest friends and it’s mostly about jokes and my complains on life. And i guess it’s also due to how i mostly spend my time doing activities alone.
As a person who has more experience than me, how do u communicate well with other people? (This isnt me creating more problems or complaining, but im just curious on how i can improve this “part” of me)
“No, I haven’t done anything surgical. But I started to starve myself and developed anorexia… which was a very dark period of my life. I had less chubby cheeks, but I looked like a skeleton… so I became less likeable and less pretty instead of prettier and more likeable, which I was originally hoping for.“
= I see…. I guess i’m not the only one who has a very dark period in my life….
I’m glad that you’ve escaped it, cause i really know how it feels to be in a dark period. Is it at that moment you started learning to accept yourself and improving the self-esteem?
“I don’t know much about it, but what I know is that there are many botched plastic surgeries, so I’d never take that route.“
= True, i also have thoughts about how many surgeries end up badly when i consider having it…. I guess i should just ditch that option… 🙂
“Good, make sure you also ask him about your dilemmas and whether it will affect your eating, so you know what to expect.“
= Yep, this is what i had in my mind when i decided to go to the dentist. I’ll surely discuss about this matter.
“I also had full cheeks when I was your age, and was unhappy because of it. With aging, it tends to dry up, so now I wouldn’t mind some extra fat in my cheeks. Things change over time, and the way we look at them… What you now hate, you may love and miss some day… at least that’s how it was with me.“
= So when you’re unhappy with ur full cheeks you didn’t do anything about it and just accept it? As when i’m researching about chubby cheeks i saw most girls nowadays consult a beauty specialist to have their fat in their cheeks removed… and it really changed their jawline. Most of them are happy with the changes.
I’ll consider ur suggestion, and thank you for ur response and advices.
If i still sound repeating the same thing, u can just ignore my thread above. I’ll keep improving my self-esteem… and also thank you for all the advices u gave me… sometimes when i feel lost/confused i re-read it.
As for the braces, i’ve decided to consult a dentist in a few days… i’ve been postponing on my decision to wear one because of how my parents tend to tell me that i look fine and that it’ll affect my eating diet as they worry about me….
But i decide to tell them that i’m sure of my decision… i want it for myself and i dont want to regret later on… regarding the pain, as it’s my decision i will take responsibility of it myself.
The other part of my facial features is regarding my facial structure, along with my cheeks and eyebrows… Those 3 combinations make me look like an angry person… as i have chubby cheeks and a thick eyebrows… I’m not trying to contain my mind with self-esteem again… it’s that i want to improve myself… just like how “fat” people trying to do exercise to lose their fats.
As for teeth it’s easier to find a solution which is by wearing braces… but i cant change my facial structure…
Regarding my cheeks, i’m trying the loss cheeks fat exercise on youtube, i hope it works…
And for my eyebrows i just bought an eyebrow trimmer… i trim some parts of my eyebrows.. but my face still looks scary…
As you just said that i need to change my mindset, all of what i’m mentioning above is what i’m trying to do now to improve my self-esteem.
I’m also working on myself to stop complaining and start finding solutions.
Thank you once again for ur reply.
I’ve stopped thinking on that matter… thank you for hearing me out that time… It was really a dark period for me, and i wont discuss about that topic anymore.
Right now i’m trying to improve my facial looks… may i share about it?
As i feel i have several facial features due to genetics that makes me unattractive.
I’ve stopped thinking about that matter… right now i’m trying to improve myself… especially on my facial looks…
May i share my feelings regarding my facial looks that i think i should’ve improve a long time ago?
*continuation from the previous post*
As for the camouflaging my height, do u think sooner or late there’ll be moment i failed doing it? Because i’ve been trying to do it careful all these years but in the end still did some mistakes.
Yeah if my situation is compared to girls wearing make-up.. i agree it’s an overreaction… but sometimes i just can’t control it even if i dont want to feel that way… I hope i can keep my mind straight if anything like that happens again.
As for regarding camouflaging my height, there is an issue that i’m trying to fix since few years back… but i think this issue is still the same as the main core… the issue is that i’m always afraid to visit other people’s house because i need to be barefoot…. I always skip going to anyone’s houses because they’ll notice my height… i only go to one of my friend’s house which is my closest friend, because he knows my insecurity and height… other than him i won’t….
But if i want to have a partner one day, i’ll need to visit her house and meet with her family barefoot…. This is something that i’ve been trying to solve for a long time…. Because i imagine if i meet date with a girl using tall shoes and then when i go to her house barefoot.. she’ll notice it 🙂… i guess i’ll have to prepare myself mentally regarding that situation that might happen in the future…
Tbh there is something that i’m curious about, i always feel more calmer and i can think more logically at night than in the day, does this applies to all people? Do u experience the same way too TeaK?
- This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Felix.
I think today i just stop thinking about this particular situation, it’s due to last night i have difficulty sleeping and then suddenly i remembered how i use to be so confident back then (before my friend posted that goofy pic on my birthday 5 months ago).. i’m also insecure due to that “housing on development” post as i’m afraid people might misunderstood me, since that day i’ve stopped posting on social media…. I also labelled myself as having an unattractive face due to that insecurity
I tried to wait for the right moment so that at that moment i’ll post the best pic of mine….. but then i tried taking a pic of me (at home) on different angles… but i still look unattractive… At that moment i realized how i’m confident back then.. it’s because at that time i know that my face will always stay like that, so i just posted anything i want…. And i gained a lot of friends by doing that tbh 🙂…. Idk why right now i turned out like this due to insecurity…..
I think it’s also due to i’ve been trying to get my revenge to that “girl” who left me… i wanted to post the best pic of me after not posting for a long time so she’ll be shocked and she’ll regret leaving me….
But tbh i’m confused, should i really post only the best pic of me so that i can attract girls on social media…. Or should i stay with my old mindset 🙂 (just post anything regardless how my face look in any angles).
Because that’s the theory of social media right? We must post the perfect pic and there shouldnt be any flaws in that pic…
I just realized yesterday that i was blinded by insecurity, like i cant think straight… it’s insane… i’m very very afraid back then… Now i’m back to myself before i’m so frustrated due to that goofy pics and the housing development posts….. I can’t believe i think “that way” for this past 5 months 😩…
I’m so so delighted right now that i’m back to myself before that frustration…. I hope this isnt an unhealthy emotion transition im experiencing due to experiencing lots of struggling situations…. But right now i can say i gain my confidence on social media like i used to…
”And what if your friends would realize you are as tall as the girls, and not even slightly taller? Your usual anxiety would get triggered, because it makes you feel worthless and not good enough… so again, you’d need to deal with your core problem before you can really let go of obsessing about who thinks what about your height.”
= Can i really get ride of the core problem if i still wanna wear tall shoes/sandals? Or i can wear it, but i must accept if my friends find out how tall i am when im barefoot?
- This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Felix.
I dont know if this sounds repeating the same statement or not (if i sound repeating the same statement you can just skip it): i know those who know me know that i’m short, but they didnt know how is my height compared to those girls in the pic… and my height with those girls in that pic are the same due to them wearing heels…. I can only hope that people who saw that pic understands that my height and them are the same is due to them wearing heels…
One of the reasons why i like camouflaging my height is because it did work… like some of my friends used to state that i’m slightly taller than her.. whereas im actually more or less the same than her, i know that they know im short… but they still think that im taller than most girls (i dont know how to explain it clearly)…
I ask one of my friends who know about my insecurity on what should i do with this situation, he told me the only way is to post a pic that i look taller than most girls, so that people will think i’m not really that short.
I only can hope that they dont analyze too much when i post a pic of me and my friends on december later on… I know most people would say no one would really analyze that much and it’s just me overthinking…. but there is, there really is a person like that…. My ex crush is like that, it’s insane….
I’ve been trying to keep my sanity for the past few days… i told myself anything to keep me calm, saying that i’m not worthless, this situation is harmless, taking a deep breath…. I guess it gonna took a while till i can heal from this situation….
What also drives me crazy is that everything i did this year was a mess: how my friends posted a goofy pic of mine on my birthday, i posted my graduation pic like i had no friends and now this problem….(although i have calm myself for the previous problems)
Tbh when im at the office i dont think as much as when im in my room at night…. I guess this is the reason why most people dont wanna stay too long being alone at their room… it causes much more overthinking than usual, but at night i have no choice but to be at my room right………
I just stated everything above according based on what im thinking right now…. I just hope i can recover soon….usually as time passes, i’ll eventually recover sooner or later…
Those who know me in person mostly knows my height (after boosted, as i always wear shoes) i never showed anyone my barefoot height… will they get reminded of this height when they try to remember my height?
As there are some people who have taken a picture with me (and i’m taller than her in that pic) what will she think when she saw my height in that “pic”, as i look short in that pic…. Will she still think that she’s shorter than me?
Really? Random people wont care? Like wont they comment in their head, “who is this short guy”?