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On daily basis i can distract myself by doing activities so i wont think of this agent problem again. But it’s just that every morning when i woke up i instantly get this thoughts again. Like every morning all my anxiety/problems will always consume my head. Idk why, i’ve been like this every morning.. like every time i woke up my mind just immediately think about my problems. Except when i dont have any problems in my head, then it wont appear
I really need to solve this, because if i dont i could be crazy by getting this headache every morning
- This reply was modified 2 months, 4 weeks ago by Felix.
I’m trying to focus on my goals here, but it’s just that i regretted posting the promoting house advertising. I feel like i need to know what those 200 people thoughts when they see my post, i did this predicting of people thoughts whenever i post anything… to make me feel better. As one of my reasons of posting something is to show to people.
But on that housing promotion post, i still cant stop my regret as there are one of those people who thought im an agent. I keep stressing on how the others might think of me.
As i believe if keep getting negative thoughts by other people, i might have a bad reputation. This is what im avoiding.
Thanks for your advice, recently i’m feeling a bit better regarding my height (i hope it keeps getting better in the future)
Recently i’ve posted a post of a pic indicating that i’m promoting a house for sale (like a marketing advertising of property to help my father sell houses, because it’s his business). But one of my friend commented that he thought that im now working as a property agent, in which im not as im working with my dad to sell houses and i’ve explained to her.
But i saw that there are 200 people that have seen my post and i’m afraid most of them will thought that i’m a real property agent/marketing for advertising like that.
What i’m afraid is that i used to always wear branded outfits, and if they thought that i’m a property agent they might thought the outfit im wearing is fake.
Am i thinking too much regarding this posts? I have difficulty sleeping thinking about this, after one of my friend commented like that. As my intention of posting that is to help my father, and also to show that this is my family business.
Due to what i observe that girls prefer boys who are taller, i develop a hatred towards any girls who posted anything in which saying/ stating that they prefer boys who are taller than them… i feel like when they state that they could affect shorter boys confidence (like me) like we cant do anything about it.. and when we want to have the same height or maybe even some want taller girls.. i really hate that kind of girl, as i feel they look down on someone like me.
And i also agree when you said that there are other criteria that would benefit men… i tried but i just seem to cant improve my personality, i still cant initiate a conversation to someone that i just barely know or new stranger that i just make friends with.
Even with this insecurity, till now i still havent met someone new… i cant even develop feelings to anyone. And in my town using dating apps is useless as nobody uses it here. I’m also afraid to go to large places that i have to go barefoot (Like swimming pool). Because i have to go barefoot and im so insecure of it… in which every where i go i wear shoes that make me about 2-3cm taller and i feel really calm and happy when i wear it. I keep thinking of ways where i can have this 2-3cm if i really need to go to one of my friends house.. where i have to go barefoot.
He likes to brag because he’s financially able to do that, and it also helps in improving his confidence… therefore he suggest me that to improve my confidence.
And btw regarding height, i saw most of girls that i know posted a video of their boys criteria, in which it’s more taller than them. Whereas i’m the same height with most of them… i used to start feeling okay with my height which is mostly same with majority of girls… but when they posted that my insecurity came back… and i feel so bad about it. What should i do? It feels like my options are limited
- This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by Felix.
Before i post that photo i knew that there is a possibility that people might think i’m showing off, but i still post it and end up regret it. How should i stop myself from thinking of this regret
Do u think that friend of mine is one of the category of “negative friend”. Idk why he likes if im showing off too like him, why do u think he wants me to show off too?
I havent been bragging anymore, but recently i’ve showed off again by posting a birthday pic for one of my friend on social media (it’s a pic of us eating in a fancy restaurant). At first i feel happy to show people of this pic because i look good in there… but then after posting it i regret again, yet again because i dont want people to think im showing off again, as i’m trying to stop people from thinking about me in that way. But i did it again and now i really really regret it.
I started to show off because one of my closest friend (he’s kind to me, but he’s spoiled rich since he was a kid). He used to told me that to avoid feeling inferior you must show your status of wealth. Because i’m a person who likes to show people about me on social media(seeking attention) and because he teach me to show wealth, i end up posting luxury food for the past 3 years on daily basis. I know his intention is good for me to stop feeling inferior, but now i really really regret it. I cant change people’s perspective on me now after all this showing off. I’m also afraid normal girls might ran away seeing me like this.
I feel like i’ve been showing myself as a money spender on social media. Deep in my heart i really hate that closest friend because he teach me this…
Dear anita and ravi,
I have tried replying her story 3 times, she replies in a friendly manner as a friend… but she doesn’t seem to show a sign of wanting the conversation to be longer. What should i do in this?
As i dont want to rush into forcing to keep texting her as she might get annoyed.
- This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by Felix.
Yes i think that’s the main problem that connects each of my issues which is me always feeling inferior to others… therefore it leads me to try to show off to erase it. This inferiority feeling also causes me to unable to communicate properly with strangers, due to me afraid of their judgements and lead me to freeze in the middle of the conversation.
Honestly my inferiority still exists, its just that now i can control it better than before. I hope i can control it better and better throughout time, especially the height part as it’s irreversible.
But is there any ways for me to forget the shame that i feel (the one i wrote previously)… because i cant predict what the people that i showed off before are thinking right now. Like i cant explain to them one by one about this.. as it’s my personal matter.
Yes it’s an excellent development for me and also thank you for appreciating and giving solutions previously.
Regarding the showing off in the past, i still can’t get over with…. like i used to brag that my father has his own housing complex in which the house will be sold to the people (as he’s a contractor/developer)… when i brag about this, my friends doesn’t seem to care about my bragging… i did this to cover my embarrassment of the aquarium business that time. But when they look like they doesn’t seem to care, i feel like getting slapped in the face, like i feel disgusted by myself why should i brag when people don’t really care.
Every day i have this thoughts that i keep blaming myself…. as my duty is to continue my parents business and i still can’t do anything… but i have already brag about the wealth as i always thought people would have more respect on me if they know my wealth. I feel embarrassed now and keep blaming myself…. like i even shout my anger to myself.
I really can’t handle embarrassment.
- This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by Felix.
I apologize for being unclear. No i didnt agree with what he said haha, i agree with my parents because i know they do it for my own good… but because i feel bored in this town i “sometimes” could think of that words that my friend said like i could think/imagine me being in another place where i can explore.. but i know in the end i’ll still follow my parents…
Also in my previous threat i used to talk on how much im so embarrassed with my dad’s aquarium business. So due to that i used to show off to my friends on how wealthy i am by wearing expensive outfits and also bragging on my parents wealthiness to avoid being embarrassed. But after i start to accept my father’s business i feel like blaming myself for showing off.. like why should i do that… now i realize that people might think im arrogant and like a spoiled brat who splashes money… i really really regret it like idk what to do.. like people already see me like that… i keep blaming myself for that in the past few days on this matter.
- This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by Felix.
Suddenly i have a change of mind, that makes me feel lucky that i have it easy here.. but i dont know if this mindset will change again.
Recently im starting to realize that i think i’ve been pressuring myself too much (since the first time i posted here)… whereas now i can start appreciate daily life more. I think it’s because one of my close friends used to tell me that you should enjoy each day to the fullest, but right now i think its not true… it causes me to not appreciate small things. And he’s also the one who keep telling me that at my age now (21) i should explore life more, but if i tell my parents that, i think they’d be mad for saying that i should be grateful that i can go back here without having any need to find a job elsewhere. Do u think what i said here is true?
I think the second post i wrote above is a separate matter than the swallowing problem?
1. Your fear of rejection, your insecurities about being short and doubts about your family – This girl is not going to fix you (or for you)
2. Even if she goes ahead and marries you there is no guarantee that you will be peaceful and in acceptance with yourself. And only if YOU are happy and joyful you will be able to extend that happiness towards her and towards your married life and then in the outside world.
= Both of these words from you have swift a bit of my mindset, right now i’m trying to accept it… it’s really hard. When i find someone grow taller than me (kids so much younger than me) i still feel pain but i guess now i can accept that pain by trying to think something else. But if someone describe myself as “short” i still can’t accept it, i’ll end up feeling anxiety even though what they say that i’m short is true.
As for the girl, i still haven’t texted/replied her insta stories, when i can start to text her i’ll always end up delaying in by saying “maybe another day”… like i’m feeling lazy to text her as it’ll used up my mind thinking her… but i also feel that i might regret it.
And also i have a new insecurities, i feel envy for that girl who studies abroad (she is in japan now), i’ve always liked japan and i envy that she can go uni there whereas i study in abroad which is only 1 hour from my country that my parents make sure that i go back to my hometown to continue their business and here i am in the hometown right now.. what i envy is that as she’s a girl she can have her own path of life. idk why im feeling like this, some of my friends said that i should be grateful that my parents have a business and i can do my job easily (relax) here… it’s just that i feel so bored in this town (like really bored as it’s a small town), like i feel sad i end up here again and i dont make many friends here, like i really wanna explore more… but i know as i’m a lazy person i’ll end up going back here as it’s the best scenario for me. But again i still feel bored here.
I also feel bored here that i still can’t find a girl for me here in this town, is this a sign of immaturity?
i also feel that i might have no chance for her… as she have studied japanese language since she’s in highschool and right now she’s in uni… when she does this i have a feeling that she wants to have a life and family there (if not why would she study the language and have uni there). And after studying so hard there, why would she wanna go back to her hometown isn’t it?
When i approach her later on, i hope i can find out the answer from her.