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Felix

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  • in reply to: I cant stop thinking of her, i need help #325523
    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    We’re going in the same airplane but not in the same seats, therefore due to my parents and hers are friends that both of our families are most likely to meet before boarding the airplane and if we talk it’ll be both of us standing and she’ll see my height. But i get what you mean that i should think of my advantage instead of disadvantage as its a positive approach to the mindset but its a bit hard as im still not accepting my height.

    Women like to be listened to, that is an attractive feature about a man to a whole lot of women. Imagine she is sitting in the airplane with a tall man who doesn’t care about what she is thinking, doesn’t ask.. what good is his height- see my point?

    =Yes i get your point, but its not about tall man, its about boys that are taller than her and majority of boys here is taller. I just wanna be the same as them where i at least slightly taller than majority of girls here, i dont demand to be really tall just slightly taller. I know i cant change a think but i relieves me if i keep complaining of how unlucky i am haha, i hope you dont mind. And im sorry if i keep talking about this height matter all over and over again haha as im really a hard headed person regarding my weakness.

     

    in reply to: I cant stop thinking of her, i need help #325469
    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    Back to talking skills, you can post to me beginning of conversations you had, what a person said to you when you didn’t know what to say in return, and I can suggest to you what you can say in return. You can describe to me this or that situation where you didn’t know what to say, and I can suggest to you what you could say in these situations.

    = Thanks, and yep i’ll try this is i need some suggestion regarding situation i didnt know what to say

    Btw im gonna talk about another issue, so there’s this girl that i notice in instagram and her appearance attracted me and they way she comments in her feeds shows that she has a friendly personality and kind of my type and her parents is also a friend of my parents but i yet to get to know her because she’s from different highschool and she just got into university now (she’s 2 years younger than me). So on January next year my parents told me that we’re going holiday and they told me that her family is on the same flight as us, and she told me that i will meet their daughter and i should try getting to know each other with her. I feel happy but at the same time im also sad because when i saw her instagram pics i’m sure that she and me has the same height (always troubled with this issue), also in her pics she wears thick sandals casually instead of flat sandals and im really unmotivated because of this and she has a different religion. Other than that also there is this communication skills im lacking. But still when we met later what i really want is to have a good talking with her when we first met later and i’ll try to get close to her by replying her instagram stories.

    in reply to: I cant stop thinking of her, i need help #325009
    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Anita thank you for always replying me, you’ve help me a lot in improving myself for the better. I’m truly truly thankful to you.

    Well besides my height problems that im concern of, it looks like i have found my most crucial problems which is my communication skills as im an introvert. I’m lazy to start a conversation with anyone since i’m a kid and right now every time i meet new people i’ll feel pressured and feel confused in what to reply. Sometimes i reply weirdly because i feel so pressured in talking to new people which cause that person to lose interest in me. As i also have a fierce face it makes it more difficult for people to start a conversation with me. This issue also applies in talking to girls, whenever i see a girl which i find attractive and i dont know her, i’ll feel shy to talk and even shy to look her in the eye so i pretend to not care and start playing with my phone to avoid feeling shy. I feel that i need to get to know the girls first so that i can talk, even though my talking skills are also bad. Idk what i should do to impress girls, as i already have a disadvantage in height and now its communication skills. Most people who first know me they see me as a cold person which actually im not. Im just shy to look at them in the eye and its frustrating for me. Even to start a conversation with girls through text im also shy, im afraid i might sound weird and i ended not texting any girls. Idk what solutions to overcome this problem has been on me for like a decade long.

    As for the girl i use to talk about, even though im shy i get to know her because of an accidental chat. In which her friends dare her to chat me that time. And that she texted me first even though its not intentional, in which im confident that time because she’s the one texting me first and i have nothing to lose…. and therefore i ended up liking her for a long time till now.

     

    in reply to: I cant stop thinking of her, i need help #324337
    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    -most likely it will happen again and maybe it already did, after your last post. Serious concerns such as this do not just disappear. Likely you will be concerned again many times. But don’t be alarmed when that happens. Strong feelings get recorded in our brain and even when we don’t feel them in a particular hour or day, we will feel them again. It is not because we have weak characters, it is because of our  animal nature

     

    =yes its true it happened again as just now while im working out i saw that most of the boys are way taller than me and it drops my mood again. I just wish that i can as soon as possible get a partner so that i wont worry about height anymore because most concerns of my height is due to girls turn off when they look at me due to my height.

    -“one of her friends describing her .. she’s pretty, kind and she’s a girl who’s getting chased by a lot of boys”- what does it mean to you, that she may be “getting chased by a lot of  boys”?

    = Here what i mean is that her friend describe her as a girl who is pretty, kind and that most boys are always attracted to her in her looks and her innocent personality (like me who’s attracted). I sometimes feel afraid that someone will get close to her because they are attracted to her looks and personality even though right now im lazy to talk to her and think about her. But there is still this uneasy feeling that someone might wanna get close to her.

    Another issue is that sometimes i get jealous of her that she’s born pretty and have that innocent personality that she can attract boys unconsciously and she can even reject them, meanwhile i have it hard in finding a single girl who is attracted to me. Idk if its normal that i feel jealous to an opposite gender.

     

    Regards,

    Felix

    • This reply was modified 10 months ago by Felix.
    in reply to: I cant stop thinking of her, i need help #324201
    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Anita thanks for your reply,

    Right now i’m feeling better on my height concerns as i tried watching videos about motivation and accepting ourselves. But i dont know if i might get concern about my height again, like maybe when i see the mirror i might think of that concern again but i hope it wont happen.

    As for the girl that i used to concern about (the girl which i started the topic about), we exchange messages a few days ago after not contacting for a month and the way she’s texting is still the same but idk why i feel lazy to chat her while we’re texting like the feeling that lost interest in her for hurting me a lot. But just now i saw one of her friends describing her classmates on her insta stories (one of it is her), her friend describe that she’s pretty, kind and she’s a girl who’s getting chased by a lot of boys. When i saw this, the uneasy feeling came back that i might miss out on a pretty and kind girl, and that many boys chase after her but at the same time i’m also lazy thinking of her right now. Idk why is this happening to me and sometimes i hate that girl that she’s so lucky to be beautiful and that she can reject all the guy she wants.

    in reply to: I cant stop thinking of her, i need help #322063
    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Valora,

    After a month of trying to move on from her, i think its working even though sometimes late at night i suddenly thought of her. I also started to try working out to improve my body shape.

    Right now i’m considering to find a new girl for me to like, even though she’s still on my mind sometimes. But its just that i’m not confident as i hate my body so much as i’m very short. Everyday i’m always wearing thick sandals and also a bit taller shoes (take could increase 2-3 cm). Because most of the girls in my country is my height, so i’ll wear them to look taller, but its just that when i look in the mirror i see myself taller in those sandals/shoes but i always saw my shirt is still short as my body is short and i see its pointless of me trying to improve anything as i cant make my body longer. I know personality is more important than height, but i never experience a good impression from girls on my body and i hate it.

    I always get jealous of my 5’7 male friends and above that height, its just that whatever they wear, their shirt will never look short. It’s an average height from my country that’s why i really hate it that i have to wear thick sandals and shoes to reach those inches, and even with that my body still looks short. Sometimes for me its not important for me to wear good outfits that i can afford as its pointless, everything i wear looks short on my body.

    One of my close friends said to me that i shouldn’t worry about my height as long as u have the money. But i don’t if he’s only saying this to comfort me as he never experience my short height as he’s 5’7. Every day i look in the mirror i always feel like crying as being short is harder than being fat, because weight can be changed but height can’t and i’ll never be better looking than average height males. Everything i do will always relate to height, even when i’m trying to comfort myself by watching Youtube, the males are mostly above my height and i lose interest in watching it.

    in reply to: I cant stop thinking of her, i need help #322061
    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    After a month of trying to move on from her, i think its working even though sometimes late at night i suddenly thought of her. I also started to try working out to improve my body shape.

    Right now i’m considering to find a new girl for me to like, even though she’s still on my mind sometimes. But its just that i’m not confident as i hate my body so much as i’m very short. Everyday i’m always wearing thick sandals and also a bit taller shoes (take could increase 2-3 cm). Because most of the girls in my country is my height, so i’ll wear them to look taller, but its just that when i look in the mirror i see myself taller in those sandals/shoes but i always saw my shirt is still short as my body is short and i see its pointless of me trying to improve anything as i cant make my body longer. I know personality is more important than height, but i never experience a good impression from girls on my body and i hate it.

    I always get jealous of my 5’7 male friends and above that height, its just that whatever they wear, their shirt will never look short. It’s an average height from my country that’s why i really hate it that i have to wear thick sandals and shoes to reach those inches, and even with that my body still looks short. Sometimes for me its not important for me to wear good outfits that i can afford as its pointless, everything i wear looks short on my body.

    One of my close friends said to me that i shouldn’t worry about my height as long as u have the money. But i don’t if he’s only saying this to comfort me as he never experience my short height as he’s 5’7. Every day i look in the mirror i always feel like crying as being short is harder than being fat, because weight can be changed but height can’t and i’ll never be better looking than average height males. Everything i do will always relate to height, even when i’m trying to comfort myself by watching Youtube, the males are mostly above my height and i lose interest in watching it.

     

     

    in reply to: I cant stop thinking of her, i need help #317787
    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Anita, thank you so much for replying again !

    – you tried long and hard to not think of her and it didn’t work, so better stop trying to not think of her. Allow yourself to think of her without trying to stop. But at the same time, make a space in your brain to think about practical things regarding your life. You can allow yourself to think of her let’s say (examples), 10 minutes every hour, or think of her after 4 pm every day but not before. So you start thinking about her at 8 am, say to yourself: later, I will think of her at 4 pm.

    = I try to do this and i guess its quite working for me instead of forcing myself to stop thinking of her.

     

    – decide then to contact her a year from now, choose a date and put the date in your calendar. From now until then think about and go about your life in practical ways so that you are more likely to be accepted by her when you do contact her. Take care of your health and get in good physical shape, do well in your studies, job/ career. Make yourself a good candidate for her.

    = This is a good suggestion, but do u think if i do this that means that i’m still hoping for her? But i cant force myself to not make her a candidate of me in the future but i’ll try as maybe i can stop thinking of her as time passes by because i dont contact her anymore.

    Right now i’ve muted her insta stories so that i wont see her activities, she will soon notice that i didnt view her stories anymore.. do u think this will make her dislike me and eliminate my chances to make her a candidate in the future?

    And also i’ll try to improve myself in a better physical shape and improve my career later on to be a better candidate in the future (maybe), but even so.. there is one flaw that i cant change which that both of us have the same height which is 5’5. Do u think this might be a problem?

     

    • This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by Felix.
    in reply to: I cant stop thinking of her, i need help #317681
    Felix
    Participant

    Hi anita thank you so much for you reply! I dont think i can tell her the truth that i like her all this time, because idk what will happen between our relationship. She might feel guilty and might reject me if i try to contact her. I also still have this feeling that i shouldnt tell her the truth because maybe someday i can contact her and she might be the one, i know this doesnt sound right but this is what i think. Sometimes I also feel uneasy that she recently changed her insta profile picture into a better one. I keep feeling insecure even though i shouldn’t. I’m trying to help myself to stop thinking of her but there isnt a single day that i dont think of her. I really wanna block her off my social media, but my head keeps getting insecure about her and i cant take it. Idk what i should do

    in reply to: I cant stop thinking of her, i need help #317679
    Felix
    Participant

    Hi valora thank you so much for your reply! I dont know why she isnt interested in liking anyone, as she rejected some boys besides me in the past. She keep posting insta stories in her close friends list (and i’m one of it) since we didnt chat daily that day. I keep getting a feeling that she wants my attention but im guessing this is only my feeling as she stated that she doesnt wanna like anyone. I dont think i can tell her that i need time apart and tell her that i like her all this time, idk what will happen if i said that. I keep seeing her stories in my feed but i didnt open it, and i rarely post insta stories now because i dont want her to reply me. I know this sounds dumb but i dont wanna tell her the truth now because i still keep hoping that someday she might accept me, that maybe i can contact her again in the future. I’m pretty sure she doesnt like anyone now, but i’m really stressed that she’s still trying to keep in contact with me. Sometimes also feel uneasy that she recently changed her insta profile picture into a better one. I keep feeling insecure even though i shouldn’t. I’m trying to help myself to stop thinking of her but there isnt a single day that i dont think of her.

Viewing 10 posts - 61 through 70 (of 70 total)