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Helcat

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Viewing 15 posts - 316 through 330 (of 740 total)
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  • in reply to: Urgent: I have a Crush on my female Boss. Is she into me? #413235
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Swanky

    I do think that we have control over what we want in relationships. We have the ability to reject those that have the potential to damage our lives.

    My concern is that in a situation you immediately described as dangerous, you choose to repeatedly indulge in obsessing over a coworker.

    in reply to: Can I get her back? #413232
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Hamza

    I think it’s difficult because you said you’re not able to be friends with her because it would be too painful. To allow things to naturally develop, you would have to spend time with her again and be okay with the idea that a relationship with her may never happen. This is someone you love and you say being in communication with her is harming your mental health.

    It sounds like you know what you need to do. The question is, are you ready to do that yet? Or do you need more time to process everything?

    in reply to: Can I get her back? #413198
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Hamza

    I’m sorry to hear about your break up. It’s a good thing that it is starting to sink in that you may not get back together. It sounds like her messages since the break up have consistently read that she doesn’t want to get back together. It does sound like she is open to friendship. Is this something that you are comfortable with?

    in reply to: Happy New Year! #413177
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Imi

    Thank you! The new job has been difficult during the holiday period, but things are relaxing now which is good news.

    How is your New Year going so far? Do you have any resolutions?

    Best wishes 🙏

    in reply to: Urgent: I have a Crush on my female Boss. Is she into me? #413176
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Swanky

    I’m not sure about your culture. But certainly in mine same sex employees visit each others homes if they are friends.

    Another factor to consider is, if a rumour is circulated that you are gay at your workplace could that result in you being fired?  Also, does the manager of the other department have any say in whether you could be fired? Does your company have a policy on coworkers dating? Not to mention their policy on management dating a subordinate.

    If I were you, I wouldn’t pursue this in my culture even if it were a heterosexual relationship. I wouldn’t want to cause any drama in my workplace. Best case, you get into a relationship that you have to keep secret or you’re both fired or worse. Not to mention, what happens if a relationship fails or you’re rejected.

    I’m curious why you’re attracted to someone that has the potential to cause so many issues in your life. Is it quite difficult to meet other people interested in same sex relationships?

    in reply to: How can i get rid of this overthinking and insecurity? #413104
    Helcat
    Participant

    *ask

    in reply to: How can i get rid of this overthinking and insecurity? #413103
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Eric!

    Long time no see! Happy New Year! I hope that you had a good holiday period?

    Congratulations on getting a girlfriend! How are you enjoying the experience?

    My opinion is that the traditional idea of alpha manliness is overrated. I think it’s really thoughtful that you as your partner what she wants to eat.

    You have something different to other guys that is positive. You have a level of sensitivity and self-awareness. It would be a shame to hide who you are in pursuit of an idea of manliness.

    Remember that I once said that women look for kind caring partners that listen and communicate. You are all of these things. Super proud of you for managing your emotions btw!

     

    in reply to: Buddhism Journal #413098
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi everyone!

    Today I had a good experience with a loving kindness meditation that I wanted to share.

    I’ve struggled with self-love my whole life. In recent years, I’ve made some headway… It felt like I had the right pieces of the puzzle but they didn’t quite fit into place. The puzzle pieces being healthy boundaries, self-compassion and developing confidence. I was acting towards myself in a loving way, but I didn’t feel it.

    With this meditation I practiced sustaining feelings of loving kindness towards others. I hoped that one day I would be able to turn that love towards myself. Today I realized that was true and the story that I don’t love myself, is just that… A story. One that I can finally put down.

    in reply to: Happy New Year! #413097
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Tee

    I hope that you see a doctor soon and they come up with a good treatment plan to help you. Quite literally, wishing you well! 🙏

    in reply to: Urgent: I have a Crush on my female Boss. Is she into me? #413096
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Swanky

    In your country where same sex relationships are forbidden… What do you think the possible negative repercussions could be on your lifestyle for your boss being aware of your crush? Please consider that women can be very friendly with each other and that doesn’t necessarily mean that she shares your feelings. It could just mean that she likes you as a friend.

    in reply to: Happy New Year! #413024
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Tee!

    Thank you! I hope things improve with your health challenges this year. Please pardon my asking, you don’t need to reply. Is it serious? Would you like to be included in a prayer? Good luck with your career goals too.

    A happy, healthy and peaceful 2023 sounds ideal for everyone. It reminds me of a prayer I read once.

    May we be free from dangers. May we be free from enemies. May we be from mental anxieties. May we live freely with good bodies and healthy minds.

    Love and best wishes to all! 🙏

    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Ivy

    That is awful that your stepdad threatened to kill you and physically assaulted you. There are no excuses for his behaviour. You didn’t cause him to do anything, he is an abusive person. I would suggest to tell your parents and any carers you have. Tell your school about his behaviour and you could even go to the police if you wanted to.

    I’m guessing that this isn’t the first time that something like this has happened as you have hinted about things before. I would suggest that the reason that you struggle with your mental health could be because you are being abused. It likely won’t improve until you are out of that situation.

    You don’t deserve to be treat like this, no one does. You deserve love and support from your family.

    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Ivy

    I’m sorry that I didn’t reply earlier. I was taking a break from the forum.

    I’m sorry to hear that you were banned from a writing site and it upset you. I think it’s important to remember that emotions whilst they feel painful can’t physically hurt you. The feeling will pass and you will be okay. The reality is that you will have to find a new place to write. Please feel free to share your writing here if youwish.

    How was your Christmas? Do you celebrate it? I wish you a happy New Year!

    I looked through some of your replies I missed and I wanted to share… To improve skills emotional or creative simply requires practice. Practice hard and you will succeed in time. Some people say it takes 10,000 hours to master a new skill.

    We all have issues, no one is perfect. You are worthy of love as you are. All of the problems and mistakes are part of being human. I hope that one day this makes sense.

     

     

     

    in reply to: Parents and Living at home at 22 #407191
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Tara

    Domestic violence organizations can sometimes make arrangements to take animals with you.

    Helcat
    Participant

    A member shared that their partner had bruised their wrists and threatened them calling the experience a bipolar moment. I assume that the member understands what the word bipolar means and is referring to a condition that the  partner has.

    To clarify, I didn’t criticize the member. I simply provided information debunking the myth of bipolar and violence.

    A context regarding suggesting that I was lying was not provided until I pointed out that it was offensive.

    You interpreted the message regarding the member who spoke about issues with low emotional intelligence as criticism. But I didn’t report that post because it wasn’t inappropriate. I clarified this point in a non-direct way for the member to affirm that if things don’t get better despite trying really hard that is okay. In this way, by talking to you I am not suggesting that the member could be on one side of the fence or the other.

    When I have criticised you is when you verbally abused a member, accused another member of lying and creating multiple accounts, when you brought up inflammatory religious beliefs which derailed an otherwise peaceful post. I ended up reporting the latter member, as the homophobic quotes they responded with were excessive.

Viewing 15 posts - 316 through 330 (of 740 total)