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Helcat

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Viewing 15 posts - 586 through 600 (of 740 total)
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  • in reply to: I’m struck #399050
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Ana

    I’m very sorry that you experienced child abuse with your parents. You didn’t deserve it, every child deserves loving parents and to be protected!

    From experience, I can tell you that trauma therapy could be of great benefit to you. Even though it feels this way at the moment, you are definitely not broken.

    It sounds like you experience a lot of anxiety as a result of your past. Do you do any self-care to lower your levels of anxiety?

    Humans can develop a negativity bias. Gratitude practice might seem simple, but in time it can develop a new outlook.

    Good luck with your aptitude test! I think your goal of getting a new apartment and a dog will bring you a lot of good experiences.

    in reply to: Actually lots of problems after sudden awakening #398959
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Peter!

    Jiddu Krishnamurti has a very interesting definition of enlightenment. He describes enlightenment using a concept of violence and non-violence. If a violent feeling arises and is surpressed this creates conflict.

    He considers enlightenment to be viewing emotions without judgement or thought. This IMMEDIATE action of non-judgment without thought as feelings arise is considered to be enlightenment. This immediacy is very important because it would mean that you already have to be in a state of meditation as feelings arise otherwise thoughts, attachment and conflict would occur.

    He also suggests that anyone claiming to be enlightened is not, as ego is what claims enlightenment.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Helcat.
    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #398954
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Eric

    If you say “Hi!” in passing usually when you first see someone that day that is a very suitable interaction. You would not need to continue the conversation afterwards. Perhaps try consistently saying hello since you are having difficulty with conversation?

    I appreciate that you have severe anxiety. Unfortunately, when you avoid a situation due to anxiety it reinforces the fear of the situation. This happens because you feel relieved and safe after avoiding the situation triggering difficult feelings which confirms in your mind that there was indeed something to fear and avoid in that scenario.

    Stage 2 is moving onto saying “Hey how are you doing?”.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Helcat.
    in reply to: Actually lots of problems after sudden awakening #398949
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Deci

    Who knew that the Tibetan Book of the Dead, while being a valuable incentive for those living during a time of death and dying without the will to enlightenment, also serves as a reference and source of comfort for the living in terms of its provisional tenets at a time of social loss, must, as well, be seen as a last-ditch device for the dying by its upholding the possibility of sudden enlightenment for those with the karmic potential at the time of their death, in order to see essence without needlessly having to experience the bardic realm when the veil between Creation and Nonorigination finally dissolves.

    This is a reductive perspective which honestly seems dismissive of well respected books written by well respected masters. Isn’t it possible that monks trained in Buddhism for their lives actually have a deeper understanding than a layman?

    You’re right Buddhism didn’t invent enlightenment. Many generations of Buddhist practitioners just dedicated their lives to chronicling the process because the main principles involve overcoming suffering and should be shared with humanity. Even suffering itself is based on perspective. If you alter your perspective you no longer suffer. Though this might require action or acceptance.

    From experience, I can understand that it can take practice to get to a state of non-practice. A beginner at meditation may struggle to sit and do nothing due to the discomfort with thoughts originating from their own mind. Personally, I struggled to do breathing meditation initially due to trauma. I had to learn other kinds of meditation before I was comfortable enough with the practice to overcome that trauma response. It is very difficult for people to incorporate mindfulness into their everyday lives without practicing meditation.

    Helcat
    Participant

    @HoneyBlossom

    Sorry for the late reply, it’s been busy!

    The dog I know with Cushing’s disease also ended up developing muscle wasting in the back legs. Fortunately, no epilepsy has developed so far. Something unique happened with the skin, which the vet had never seen before. Instead of hair loss, patches of raw open wounds spontaneously developed. Medication has helped the with the skin heal, as well as relieving thirst and frequent urination.

    I agree, it’s amazing what we can do for our own health and the health of our pets these days.

    My mom’s dog tried CBD oil which is similar to hemp seed oil. It was mildly helpful for pain relief but gabapentin which the vet prescribed was more effective for severe pain.

    I’m glad that your vet can assist you with the light therapy. I hope all goes well! Please keep us updated on how your pup responds to medication and light therapy.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Helcat.
    in reply to: sometimes i want to die so that i can go to heaven #398744
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Lloyd!

    Sorry for the late reply, it’s been busy!

    What you shared makes a lot of sense to me. I’ve certainly had similar experiences with depression.

    I think you’re on the right path! I have faith that you will be able to overcome the challenges that you are currently facing in time.

    Considering the trauma that you have experienced the emotional pain you are in makes sense. It takes time to heal and recover from these experiences. It is okay to not feel okay.

    My perspective on happiness is that it’s like many ordinary moments you experience in your daily routine. Except emotions and thoughts have settled and are clear. Without this weighing you down there is a chance to experience happiness and appreciate beauty.

    Humans have a negativity bias, so it can be difficult to notice good moments when things are challenging. Gratitude practice can be helpful for drawing our attention to positive experiences throughout our day. Have you tried this before? If so, did you find it helpful?

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Helcat.
    in reply to: Actually lots of problems after sudden awakening #398740
    Helcat
    Participant

    @anita

    Thank you for sharing your insight, as well as the wonderful quotes!

    I’m in the early stages of learning about Buddhism, so I’m happy to default to the perspectives of well known spiritual leaders.

    Sadly, I would agree with you regarding OP. I can only hope they are doing better now.

    I actually know someone who managed to overcome depression via Buddhist practices. So I would question the spiritual attainment of anyone who hasn’t been able to achieve that much.

    I would agree with you wholeheartedly about perseverance. It is an essential trait in this world. This is something that I’m slowly developing. It is hard but rewarding work intentionally, repeatedly stepping outside of your comfort zone.

    in reply to: Actually lots of problems after sudden awakening #398686
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Deci

    What I discussed are Tibetan Buddhist beliefs. From the Buddhist perspective, due to belief in reincarnation these practices are done to help guide you to achieving a better reincarnation. It is said that if you achieve enlightenment you become a Buddha, yet most Buddha do not choose to walk the earth, many go to the Buddha realm.

    The reason why dying helps certain people achieve enlightenment is because dying is a process that dissolves the ego.

    It takes many lifetimes to achieve enlightenment. There have only been 20+ known Buddhas throughout human history. This is how rare achieving enlightenment is. Enlightenment is a rare phenomenon. Rare in death and even rarer still  in life.

    I believe that practicing meditation can do a lot of good and enact a lot of change even before achieving enlightenment. The Dalai Lama himself doesn’t claim to be enlightened. Many masters do not claim to be enlightened. Yet, they still help many people with the level of spiritual attainment that they have achieved.

    Personally, I am doing these practices to benefit my mental health. Psychology is largely based on Buddhist practices and I have reached the limit of what psychology can achieve.

    I’m guessing that you haven’t read the Tibetan Book of the Dead or the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. Most people do not like discussing death. But there are Tibetan Buddhist practices that are heavily linked to death.

    You’re right living and dying are reflections of similar phenomenon. Sleeping is considered to be a state similar to death. The quality of your sleep is considered a reflection of your practices.

    Compassion is a big component that many masters discuss with building a level of attainment.

    in reply to: When will the pattern end? #398676
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi G

    Nice to meet you! I’m sorry for the difficulties you are going through at the moment.

    Before I respond in more depth I have a quick question about your most recent relationship.

    Have you ever met in person? Is this a long term long distance relationship?

    in reply to: Any tips in how to solve communication problems? #398665
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Eric

    Personally, I like asking questions about other people when I’m feeling anxious. This takes all of the responsibility off me when it comes to conversation. People love to talk about themselves. Not to mention, it encourages other people to ask questions which are much easier to answer than spontaneously coming up with conversation.

    Also, letting people know that you are shy is helpful. Telling people your name is also helpful.

    Or ask how their weekend was (if it’s near the start of the week) ask what their plans for the weekend are (if it’s near the end of the week).

    The people at the gym seem really kind. Especially the guy who tried to share his food with you.

    You could also bring in gum or a snack and ask people if they want some?

    Maybe you could try setting yourself goals? Start out by picking one thing a week to say? You could pick something that you are most comfortable with. How do you feel about this idea?

    Helcat
    Participant

    @anita

    You’re welcome!

    Correct, I think another big one is diabetes. I would imagine that a vet would be able to identify these conditions relatively easily with testing. Cushing’s disease on the other hand can be more difficult to diagnose. For my friend’s dog, it wasn’t until very severe symptoms arose that diagnosis occurred.

    in reply to: My sexual past ruining relationships #398481
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi David

    It’s good to hear that you are moving on.

    Your situation reminds me in a round about way of a relative. Her husband beat her for 10 years. She finally had the courage to demand that he stop and he did. Then she started beating him. He complained and asked her to stop. She said I’ll stop in 10 years.

    10 years is a long time to be in a relationship with someone and people say it takes half the length of the relationship to get over it. Your ex experienced a lot of pain throughout your relationship and despite that she was unwilling to let you go.

    What you are doing now is the kindest thing you can do for both of you. When she is no longer in contact, in time you will both have the chance to move on.

    This is a big step for you! Well done. I’m sure that you and your therapist will accomplish some great things together.

    Helcat
    Participant

    @anita

    I actually know a dog with those exact issues that was later on diagnosed with Cushing’s disease. The medication associated with the condition helped reduce symptoms a lot.

    Unfortunately, there are a variety of conditions including old age associated with these issues. I hope the vet will continue to work with your friend and figure these issues out. It is terrible when sleep is disrupted.

    Helcat
    Participant

    @HoneyBlossom

    I empathise with the difficulties of changing a dog’s diet. Mine both have digestive issues due to their breed.

    Fortunately, my boy didn’t end up with a tumour. It was one of those situations where the vet suggested he’s either got cancer or he’ll be fine in a couple of weeks because the lump is an allergic reaction. I was lucky it was a result of an allergic reaction.

    Good luck with the infrared treatments and training! I hope it helps your dog.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Helcat.
    in reply to: sometimes i want to die so that i can go to heaven #398465
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Lloyd!

    Sorry I didn’t see your previous reply until now. Please feel free to @ myusername (with no space) and your replies will go straight to my email.

    Soap distillery is the name of the company that makes the candles.

    I’m glad that you are practicing self-care and it has been helping you hang in there. It’s good that writing and sharing your feelings is helpful too! Please feel free continue to share your feelings.

    It seems to me that when people experience loss in any form, as well as grief, there is an opportunity to re-evaluate what you want in life.

    My interpretation of finding meaning in life is simply considering what is meaningful to you.

    Are there any things that you would like to change in your life? Do you have any goals that you would like to achieve? What do you care about?

    Not everyone has lofty ambitions or is in tune with the meaning of the universe. I think the simple things that are meaningful on a daily basis are just as important.

Viewing 15 posts - 586 through 600 (of 740 total)