Forum Replies Created
October 20, 2020 at 2:49 am #367993
If he’s telling you he’s going to call/contact you,then wait a few more days. When and if he does talk to you, I would talk to him, so that there are no more Mis-understandings so that you at least know his expectations going forward and yours.
All the best!September 9, 2020 at 6:09 pm #366478
Yeah… it didn’t work out well, with the way Nancy planned it because she text me Sunday saying there are hurricanes forming in the gulf, so since I’m a member with United Airlines, I’m going to use the ticket to get back to Louisiana this weekend is what it’s looking like. Which is fine Bcuz I need to throw myself back into work for awhile. I’ll still have see the other girl/ co- worker I cut ties with again. Although she doesn’t work much, I always easily avoid her while staying busy at work. 😊September 9, 2020 at 2:30 pm #366458
All in all, there should be an understanding between two people that if you are going to be exclusive and starting something serious, nobody should be on a dating app/dating site, period and should be de-activated immediately if they are. I hope you find some clarity soon and peace.
Sending you love, positivity and light.September 9, 2020 at 1:14 pm #366452
Katie – “I guess I want to believe there is truth to what he says when he says he loves and misses me. He has even gone as far as to say he doesn’t want to be with her and “she’s just not me,” but as I mentioned above, he claims to be happy with her. He tries to come to my home which he knows is wrong. Every time he says something inappropriate to me I remind him that this girl would not be okay with the things he’s saying and he says he doesn’t care. I’m just so confused. He’s working so hard to keep me and it’s just destroying me.”
He definitely needs to be open and honest with the woman he’s currently with, that’s really shady if he isn’t. I can see how much this is bothering you, which is completely understandable. Like, for example – I told my ex from (2016-2020) about how I wanted to forgive my X from (2009-2014) prior to her and she was fine with it. Not that I needed approval but we are still very close friends and felt it was important. When I actually got the opportunity to see and talk with my X from (2009-2014) recently, I had told her and told her how I felt. She was hurt that but she understood that it was time, I was surprised that she was hurt by the encounter, already knowing we had discussed me forgiving my X long ago already.
Point is, being open and honest is always best no matter what, I’ve always believed in that. If he’s spilling out his feelings for you and keeping it from the woman he’s with, there’s undoubtedly a problem. However it is also your life and your choice on how to go about that with him. You could always say to him ” Does your GF know that you’re in contact with me? and that you’re saying all these love lines to me?”
I wish you the best Katie and the way you are feeling is natural and you have the right to know. My belief is that, he should be honest with both of you and not hiding things but not everyone operates the same I guess. Don’t understand how someone like him could carry such secrets but I am ME and he is, who he is. Hope he does the right thing and that you get the peace you deserve.
Sending you so much love, positivity and light during this time in your life.September 8, 2020 at 4:22 pm #366385
Most of us have been to a counselor/therapy at some point of our lives. Many of us know the tools on how to deal with things rationally and maturely now by a certain age, with keeping healthy boundaries in place. Some people suffer so deeply, that they desperately need professional help every now and then or even regularly and I respect that. Personal choice.
You will be just fine and you seem to have a very good head on your shoulders. You know what’s right for you and you have gotten a lot of excellent insight and advice, now you can take the wheel.
Enjoy you evening hun and don’t stress too much.September 8, 2020 at 4:13 pm #366383
I agree with you. The most important part is that, the lines of communications between you and him have been mutual, open and accepted. You know your boundaries and you know how to deal with this maturely. Stalking/harassment is easily thrown out in verbal context these days and in forms of writing, which shouldn’t be taken lightly. So when Anita mentioned it, it’s very important that you thoroughly understand the acts/behaviors of it. Especially defamation of character, so take what she said lightly, according to your situation but be aware of the definitions of them, in case you made need to know the signs in the future.September 8, 2020 at 3:54 pm #366380
Stay positive Mia and just create some healthy boundaries, you’re doing well so far at that. A couple times of reaching out is just fine but don’t go beyond that. That’s just my personal advice and what is healthy.
Take care.September 8, 2020 at 3:41 pm #366377
Mia is was great reading your story and I’m glad Anita has helped you in a lot of ways, with dealing with your emotions.
From a legal standpoint, if your boyfriend has been in contact with you via-text message and never used the words ” please don’t ever contact me again, or please stay away from me.” you are not harassing or stalking him. I highly recommend looking up harassment/stalking laws to get the right behavior definition of it. If this boyfriend of yours is sending you flowers, messages and all, you don’t have anything to worry about from a legal standpoint and from what I have read on this thread, you’re fine and in the clear but once you or him are willing to accept any forms of gifts and mutual communication(s) – harassment/stalking doesn’t exist here. I don’t see any kind of behavior of yours, as stalking or harassment. Now, in the future, if he decides to cut all contact with you, doesn’t text message you anymore, starts ghosting you and most importantly asks you in person, text or in writing ” Please do not contact me, in any way, shape or form anymore.” Then I highly suggest you STAY AWAY from him. Even someone’s actions will tell you, all you need to know already.
You made your peace but if the communication has been mutual, legally you’re not breaking any laws. You can always speak to your therapist about all this too but also create some personal boundaries for yourself as well. As far as, what is healthy communication with someone and what becomes un-healthy and obsessive. I wish you the best of luck darling, stay positive, stay strong and if this online boyfriend turns out hat he isn’t for you, know that there are millions of other people out there compatible for you and right for you. It’s not the end of the world, just lifes way of telling you, that there’s another chapter awaiting you.
Sending you so much positivity, love and light!September 4, 2020 at 2:52 pm #366181
To add to my post above and to anyone who’s reading this, letting go is never easy but listen to your heart, it always knows. Yes it’s hard, yes it hurts but when life is forcing you to move on, you no other choice but to. What’s left up to us, is to either peacefully accept this and to move on happily, knowing that the universe wants us to start a new chapter with something or with someone else.
It’s up to us to either suffer too much or to accept it and be happy with the beautiful moments that were given. I’ve chosen peace and happiness, letting the universe guide me into the next chapter.September 4, 2020 at 2:33 pm #366175
Of course Jenny, the timing was right when I reached out because I have so much going on with work right. I was in a 4 year relationship with a very amazing woman and I don’t regret a thing. She’s having a hard time with me moving on from her, it’s difficult and so complicated due to who she is and where she’s comes from. Luckily for me I grew up with the same culture as her, so I understand her. Her and I still very close and currently in Los Angeles, it just hurts me to see her so hurt but we both knew that this was going to happen with parting ways romantically. I’m torn but I am realistic enough to know better, that things aren’t going to change with her and I promised her 4 years ago, I would take this journey with her, as long as I could emotionally. By the end of 2019 and beginning of 2020 I was emotionally exhausted, in my heart I knew it was time. I am forever grateful for her unconditional love and the time I’ve spent with her, we learned so much from each other.
Parting ways romantically is for the best and I trust in the universe to guide us to where we are both meant to be. So that’s why I can understand sympathize with your story. Love is a very complicated thing, takes a lot of work and isn’t perfect which was never a problem for us. The problem is/was is who she is (very well known public figure) her culture and satisfying her mother. I have nothing negative to say about all this though becauseI went into this already knowing. I am happy and single but seeing her hurt, hurts me too because all I ever wanted/want for her, is her to be happy.September 4, 2020 at 5:17 am #366127
This is so heartfelt and deep… I can sympathize. I love someone very much and I’m torn on what to do. So I know exactly how you feel.🙏August 31, 2020 at 11:07 pm #365921
Hi there Brooke,
I hope you have found something, as far as your career path.
Wanting to become an entertainer is a personal journey and something to really think about.
However, I do have some really great suggestions for you as far as work options/self employment.
Door Dash is one of the best high paying courier services out there right now, highly popular and you’ll see all walks of life and vehicles in the mix. You choose your hours and days/night you want to work. Making at the least 23.00 an hour to 30-40.00 an hour. It’s easy to make 100.00 – 200.00 a day if you put in the hours. Pick up food and drop it off.
Instacart is also a very good one as well, depending on where you live. During quarantine in March up until June, I was making about 200.00 a day. It’s all about doing the math with, miles and time it takes to do shopping trips, so choose wisely.
If not build your resume, look online on craigslist or other places to put in for jobs. Just be careful on craigslist though, as I personally went through 3 bad and very odd experiences. Men pretending to be looking for an administrative assistant/personal assistant for 20.00+ an hour, asking for a picture and resume. Then to find out, 2 of them were looking for a companion to hang out with and the other wanted to interview me at a bar. So be very careful.
I put in for so many professional jobs and with covid going on, it’s extremely hard to find employment, so for now self employment is best. It’s honestly a very comfortable living, its just applying the hours and being disciplined.
I wish you a lot of luck and positivity on finding a career that best suits you. 🙂August 31, 2020 at 10:21 pm #365920
What a heartfelt story of you and your ex. You two seem to have had such deep bond and connection, I can’t imagine how hurt you must be. I’m so sorry. I commend you for trying to stay grounded and strong, that is natural with wanting to take care of yourself. Exercise, meditation and therapy are all the right things. I understand how grief is very real but in time, I hope it lessens for you. If it’s meant to be, maybe your ex will show up/find you in the future, if the universe feels you two are meant to be together again. If that doesn’t happen, it means there is somebody amazing out there waiting for you. Trauma’s happen, yes but in time wounds will heal and when the time is right, it usually will resolve.
Also sorry to read that you grew up in a homophobic environment but the beautiful thing is that, you are/were strong enough to make the decision to love who you wanted to love, regardless of the stigma. It’s amazing these days, how accepted it is and normal. My condolences about your aunt, I’ve personally been through that.
Remember, you are worthy of love and love will come and find you again, when you least expect it. Stay strong, stay positive and continue to nature yourself with love and compassion.
Sending you a lot of love, positivity and light.
All the best and take care while you’re away/offline. There are some other incredible people on this site, that will help guide you also.August 30, 2020 at 12:14 am #365811
Thank you so much.🙏❤️🙏August 28, 2020 at 6:38 am #365739
Oh, I also forgot to mention that I found a prospect to purchase a new home, in a new development not too far away and have already got to look at some preliminary photos of the homes to choose from and I have one in mind that I love. If all goes as planned, I will be purchasing a brand new home in 2 years or less.🙏