Forum Replies Created
November 4, 2018 at 2:53 pm #235397
You won’t move forward. To respect pain is to ACCEPT, not ignore it. The only way out is in.
Cry. Feel sad. Feel angry. Feel. As much as you can. In whatever way allows you to. Feel as much as possible. That and only that will truly move you through this. Your willingness to feel and what you have felt within yourself is the only barometer of your healing.
This chapter of your life is going to drastically shape who you will become, you are experiencing a metaphorical death.
You have to accept that you have been shaken, there is no turning back. You have been beaten by life. Cry. Mourn. Accept the truth. It would be madness not to feel fucked up. So feel fucked up. Allow it to be, and you will suffer FAR, FAR less.
Feel it to heal it, your only goal as far I’m concerned is to feel the pain you are trying to avoid. Only in doing that will you truly, TRULY move forward.
Accept this death and you will be f*cking reborn.May 17, 2018 at 7:23 am #207915
Emotional unavailability, the level of maturity necessary for me to fully embrace them in spite of this is of a level of which I cannot authentically possess right now – in other words, they don’t want to deal with my emotions. If they ask how are you, the answer is fine. Any other answer is not an answer, and it always leads to the same “I don’t know what to do” response.
They recognise I have problems but care little for how I should deal with them or wether the problem is related to them. In other words, they clothed me, fed me, etc, but my emotions are simply not their problem.
They are just not emotionally available and I don’t have it in me yet to genuinely forgive and love them in spite of that. I can’t trust them with who I really am, essentially, because who I am is sometimes in deep, deep pain, and because they don’t know how to deal with that pain themselves, how can they deal with me?
It’s not ‘whatever’, not ‘whatever’ at all… Nothing to be flippant about, I know. It’s truly painful but simultaneously just the way it is, for now. I can accept that, with a lot of dis-ease, yes.