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Emily

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 33 total)
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  • #384387
    Emily
    Participant

    Wow I’m speechless

    #384366
    Emily
    Participant

    Dear Anita:

    I’m curious what is the energy everybody talks about. Let me give you a example . Her energy is bad I don’t want to be around her . People say this about me  .Is it because I talk about my problems with them that I haven’t found solutions to , or maybe they can feel when I’m in a bad mood ? When someone hurts me or Im going thru difficult situations that I have to get thru on my own I shut out people who hurt me or can’t help me bcuz I have to push thru it alone . Growing up people ignored me but it only hurt when my  family or men I dated did  .

     

    This morning, as I was rereading Michael Singer’s excellent book, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, the quote above jumped out at me. Singer explains that by closing our hearts because of disappointment, or the trauma of past events, we close ourselves to the flow of energy through us, indeed the flow of life itself. Over time our hearts become constricted.</p>
    <p id=”6341″ class=”hy hz fm ib b ic id ie if ig ih ii ij ik il im in io ip iq ir is it iu iv iw dn gi” data-selectable-paragraph=””>Picking and choosing when to open and close our hearts may protect us from pain in the moment, but in the long run, we lose out. We sell ourselves short.Much of your pain and trauma is from childhood events, buried deep within us because we needed to protect ourselves as children. But throughout our lives, those experiences and disappointments get triggered in the most unexpected ways. New disappointments also attach to the original trauma and strengthen it. The flow of energy is blocked.

    I copied this from the internet but i can relate it’s me . How do I keep my heart open . Another example I have a sibling from my father and a few weeks ago she said that my lips were getting black and my voice was getting deep from smoking I was hurt bcuz I talked to her in the past about my struggles with quitting  and that it was a bad habit that I picked up. So I hung the phone and she called me back laughing I did not think it was funny . So I cut contact with her we have nothing in common besides we share the same dad .

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by Sarah Jeanne Browne.
    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by Emily.
    #384279
    Emily
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>I’m excited and nervous to see how things work out for us . The daily routine is being created piece by piece .

    </p>
    Thanks again for reading and responding ! This website is Amazing I actually found a place that I don’t feel like I’m being judged .

     

     

     

    #384260
    Emily
    Participant

     

    Im ok

    Not much to do since I’m unemployed

    Its my fault I knew that the hours weren’t kid friendly and I still accepted the position knowing I’m a single mom

    Did a little research and there’s a more flexible job that I can do (HomeCare) and I can pick up and drop off my son to school  so Im happy .

    His dad lives in a new state and couple years ago started a new family.

    I have to include my son in everything I do So it’s We instead of me .

    As for me Im going to purchase a indoor bike and a cookbook .

    Since I can’t go to the gym I was waking up at 5am going to the park before I take my son to school but my son hates it when I break his sleep and he need rest before school so im buying myself a indoor spin bike I am still going to do the things I want to do for myself even thou I have to make everything single mom friendly . I’m working with my situation now not against it.

     

    I want my son to have good memories of growing up . Since I didn’t .

     

    Brain dump

     

     

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by Emily.
    #384083
    Emily
    Participant

    Positive habits I love it . I fight with myself daily to change my habits . Things catch on fire often where you are ? Is it because of the heat ? I never even checked what coast I lived in so focused on surviving my daily thoughts . I just googled it I’m east coast .

    #384071
    Emily
    Participant

    79 it’s warm .

    How is the weather where you are ?

     

    #384059
    Emily
    Participant

    Yes hard work . My mom never told me the struggle . I now understand .

    #384031
    Emily
    Participant

    Child is doing good , Officially a first grader after attending summer school … I do this all for him !

     

     

    #384010
    Emily
    Participant

    The struggles of not smoking when stressed is difficult. I’m working on these healthy habits .

    #384009
    Emily
    Participant

    When I’m going thru difficult situations that might be normal to other I be feeling like I’m going to die . I’m a adult that doesn’t have it all together yet .

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by Emily.
    #384007
    Emily
    Participant

    Dear Anita ,

    Im stressed . The struggles of being a single mother. I had to quit my job bcuz I couldnt find childcare . I’m trying to put everything together and hold it together it’s rough . I passed the first section of my GED test 3 more than I’ll be a High School Graduate. My landlord threatened to evict me for smoking weed . It’s kinda a good thing bcuz I’m a single mom and I need to find other ways to deal with stress .   Sometimes I feel like such a fuck up but the past trauma and pain are real for many years I was sad bcuz I thought that my current situations were permanent but they weren’t now I’m trying to do my best on my own.  Today is one of those days and I can’t smoke so guess I’ll vent .

    #376247
    Emily
    Participant

    My younger sister had project in school to write about someone who inspires her an she wrote about me and how I had a disabled son and I took care of him an that I was a nurse and she looked up to me . It’s shocked because I was a Cna and I was struggling but from her point of view I was someone she was proud of .

    #376246
    Emily
    Participant

    I never seen anybody survive and after my mom passed I thought that I would die

    because that’s the way her story ended but I fight like I did as a child but the isolation doesn’t help it puts me in a stand still and years past and I don’t accomplish anything. I’m up

    again and giving it every I got

     

    #376243
    Emily
    Participant

    When I say love myself again I mean I want to feel like I love myself again …

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by Emily.
    #376241
    Emily
    Participant

    Dear Anita ,

    I just want to love myself again .

    Growing no matter what happened when I

    went to bed at night i love myself so

    my thoughts were positive ready for

    whatever tomorrow would bring .

    In the last post I didn’t mention

    once things didn’t work out at home

    I went to look for love outside my

    house which introduced me to user

    and abusers told me what I wanted to hear

    to get what they wanted then left me and I was

    back to square one .

     

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by Emily.
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 33 total)