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Lispol

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  • #318737
    Lispol
    Participant

    Thank you so much Kathleen. I will check out that book.

     

    Fast forward to today, I just found my job posted through job search websites. I don’t know what to do. Maybe it’s my job, maybe it’s someone else’s with the same title? I don’t know. I’m trying not to freak out, but I just received a notification from a job search website for my job after I emailed one of my partners about a mistake I made. I’ve been making many small mistakes and i emailed him apologizing for them. The posting said it was done a few hours after my email to my partners. I think he thinks i’m a looney and that he’s received bad feedback from others. i’m scared i’m going to lose my job now. My husband is going to be so disappointed. So will i. what do i do? Ask my office manager nonchalantly if we are hiring? It’s terrible not knowing whether you’re going to be fired and having your coworkers ignore you. i hate myself.

    #314321
    Lispol
    Participant

    Thank you all. You all have great insights and wisdom. I try to to overreact but sometimes I fail miserably!!

    #280563
    Lispol
    Participant

    Wow. These issues that you have, I experience too. Social anxiety, feeling not good enough, insecure of confident people, etc. You’re not alone. Overthinking, over analyzing. Check!

    I am religious and that helps me greatly. Also, my family members help me too. I’ve learned that our mind needs to be retrained. I need to discipline my mind NOT to overthink situations. To try not to please people. Not be callous but if someone is upset with me or doesn’t like me for some reason and I’ve tried my best to either apologize or figure out why, then I need to let go and turn my focus elsewhere.  I don’t get to be friends with everyone and not everyone gets to be friends with me.

    Mindfulness and prayer helps me. Knowing that I’ve been put on this earth, along with everyone else, for a purpose helps me.

    Volunteering to help out at a charity event, homeless shelter, hospital, whatever helps. I’ve tried a few. Service helps me.

    Hope you can find some peace soon with yourself. You deserve it.

     

    #280551
    Lispol
    Participant

    Anita!

    HI there and thanks so much for your advice. Yes, I don’t gossip. That is one of the reasons I left my previous employer.

    Thank you for reminding me that I should not be friends with my co workers. Sage advice. I don’t know what it is about me, but I feel that I need to be their sounding board in order to be accepted. I know I do it to myself.

    Why do people get upset with you when you don’t relay information or engage in gossip (when it’s about them)? I didn’t respond, just looked at her sheepishly when she demanded to know what was said about her. She stomped off and didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day. Do I go see her on Monday and say, “I’m new here, don’t want any trouble, and don’t want to get involved in this”?

    Its very difficult for me to handle interpersonal conflicts as I just want to keep the peace and do my work.

     

    #280513
    Lispol
    Participant

    Oh and i’m bipolar.

     

    #223919
    Lispol
    Participant

    Anita,

     

    You did me a world of good today with your advice. I did meet with my sister but I kept it lighthearted and just said “what i was going to speak to you about stems from insecurities on my part”, so let’s just keep today centred on our kids.

    I said “the worst thing you could do would be to feel sorry for me having to deal with bipolar issues”. She said in no way does she feel sorry for me because I have everything that a lot of people don’t have (good house, food, supportive family (hmm…I didn’t say anything when she said that). She also said this does not mean that I think you need to pull your socks up (although I know she did).

    Anyways, I thought a lot about what you and my husband said today and I just felt I needed to tKe the high road.

    Anita, you and my husband saved me today from myself. I can’t thank you enough.

    Much love. I hope your weekend will be blessed with the things and people you need. You are a wise and compassionate person.

    #223863
    Lispol
    Participant

    but i feel like i should clear the air and get her to admit there is a rivalry which has caused me to become envious. she holds her cards close where i do not.

    #223855
    Lispol
    Participant

    Anita,

     

    These are wise words and 100% true.

    I am meeting with her to discuss these issues shortly, although I’m not sure that I should but I feel that I need to clear the air. I am a straightforward person and my feelings get hurt easily so i take affront when i feel there are things going on in the background that i know nothing of. I have a list of what to say but i’m not sure if i should say them.

    what do you think?

     

    #223777
    Lispol
    Participant

    Hmmm…i don’t really know. I hope not. I really just try to see the good in people, naive yes.

    #223749
    Lispol
    Participant

    We were talking about an ex-friend of mine. This so called friend was emotionally and financially manipulative. Anyways, she’s no longer a friend. I seem to attract these types of people.

    #223731
    Lispol
    Participant

    oh and the answer to your first question is yes. 🙁

     

     

    #223729
    Lispol
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

     

    Thank you for your good insight.

    I suspect that at this time i am not yet strong enough to be able to differentiate when she’s lying or not and that makes me crazy and has caused me many sleepless nights being bipolar. i believe i just need to pull myself away for a bit to recharge, strengthen myself and my family for my own mental health.

     

    its just that i fear that if i do this, the bonds between my sister and brother will get stronger and i’ll miss out. she loves the attention she gets from family and is always so proud that her husband is a doctor whom she brags about. my sister is the much loved one as she is the most involved with our family. me, i’m always worrying i’m not good enough. not self pity. i actually feel like i am not good enough and desire the same status as my sister.

    my sister said yesterday that i have a big heart and i wear it on my sleeve. how do i not do this?

     

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)