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Kat

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 31 total)
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  • #145909

    Kat
    Participant

    This is an emotionally abusive relationship and I am so sorry you are experiencing this . This guy is a piece of work . My advice would be to leave and not look back .

    I could have written your post about my ex . I am 27.

    I would leave and get counselling asap. You can recover from this . What he is telling you is lies .Hope this is not to harsh.

    This guy won’t change he is an abuser. Is that what you want ? Could you marry this guy /have kids etc .?

     

    #145907

    Kat
    Participant

    This is an emotionally abusive relationship and I am so sorry you are experiencing this . This guy is a piece of work . My advice would be to leave and not look back .

    I could have written your post about my ex . I am 27.

    I would leave and get counselling asap. You can recover from this . What he is telling you is lies .Hipe this is not to harsh.

     

     

    #145905

    Kat
    Participant

    Hello there

    I think this stems from your childhood. When you have something to focus on (school etc.) you feel less lonely as it is structured and you have to get through it . When you leave school you have to suddenly make your own decisions .

    It sounds like your parents have influenced a lot of your decisions and forced their views on you .

    The good thing is you are young and you can rectify this , probably with baby steps .

    I recommend therapy. I think you need to make socialising a prority in your life .

    A social life is something you can build up . Relationships build around ‘fun’situations where people can let their guard down and just ‘be’.This could be a sports club . You could get to know people through that , then you ask one of them for coffee. With regular contact comes a relationship .

    Good luck !

    #143907

    Kat
    Participant

    Hi Mandy

    I can hear the frustration in your post and can relate to a lot of it. I feel the same! I think you can get out of this by starting to live your life for you! Sorry about the ex- I’ve met that kind of person before. Not nice. Maybe you could start with small goals. Volunteering, exercising, a part time job etc. It will be a great way to get experience. Then other things can come… driving etc. I know you said you are stubborn, but it is the only way. The only way is up from here.

    Kat

    #139889

    Kat
    Participant

    Hi !

    Work is a big shock to the system for a lot of people after uni. This situation is temporary . You are still so young !! Eventually you will have more money . You’ve only been working a year and half .

    I think you need something to inspire you , a hobby perhaps.

    You sound depressed aswell, depression clouds judgement .

    I think you can make a meaningful and enjoyable life . Don’t give up !!!

    #126413

    Kat
    Participant

    Hi Anita ,
    You are very right about that . I’m not saving my parents it has been my romantic relationships and friendships .
    I was bullied at school and never had self esteem . My father never took my feelings into consideration and I was told to get on with it . I did well at school but felt unhappy . I never felt good enough so I would be friends with people who took from me . I’ve never had an equal friendship .I’m very lonely now .

    I am glad you are working on yourself 🙂
    I’m .

    #126409

    Kat
    Participant

    Hello !
    I just want to say I feel the same way as you & wish you all the luck . I agree with Anita , it is important to recognise signs before you enter into a relationship with these kinds of men .

    #126377

    Kat
    Participant

    Also I feel trapped because I only really have my parents (I live with them). I’m not earning enough to move out and I’m applying for jobs with not much success. Most people my age have something , but I have nothing .I can’t see this changing .

    #126375

    Kat
    Participant

    Hi
    Thanks all for replies . I am 27. I feel behind in relationships ( I don’t have one )& job( I only work part time & havnt achieved anything career wise ).
    @anita I’ve learnt a few things , like I need to set boundaries and stop trying to rescue people . My therapist is trying to help me find myself as I have spent my whole life trying to help others and getting nothing back .

    • This reply was modified 10 months, 2 weeks ago by  Kat. Reason: Oh
    #122194

    Kat
    Participant

    Thank Anita, you are right .

    #120933

    Kat
    Participant

    Thank you for your kind replies ! I am continuing on with my course and have found a new therapist ! She is much better .

    #117828

    Kat
    Participant

    Hi Brav
    Thanks so much for the reply !! It was not rude at all. I think you are right in everything you said .

    #115584

    Kat
    Participant

    Hi all
    Thanks all for the kind replies. I am starting to accept that there is nothing more I can do, I will have to somehow accept and move on.

    #115165

    Kat
    Participant

    Thank you very much for your replies . I have already left that job (sorry if that wasn’t clear ). My main concern is that I will get attacked again as this man walks past my house etc . The police were already involved and it was brushed under the carpet .

    However since writing my post I have contacted them and they are going to speak to the care home . Basically they are running out of chances. Ideally I’d like the man in a secure unit but he certainly needs to be 2:1 with strong males who can prevent him from attacking someone else . He is dangerous . I find it very bizarre how someone is allowed to attack at will and get away with it . I get he has a condition, but seriously ?

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Kat.
    #115119

    Kat
    Participant

    Hi Anita. I left the job a few months ago. The police did not prosecute they just give him ‘ one more chance’ . The home lie to the police and the police are negligent. He has attacked someone since me a friend told me but I don’t know who. The resident is unpredictable, he attacks males or females at any point. He emotionally abuses staff from the minute he wakes up until bed. He can attack someone if it is raining for instance. With the other residents, they have obvious triggers etc. Their behaviour is manageable and has a purpose.

    I live with my parents but I go out alone. One solution was to move away from the area. The only other solution I have is to report the company to the local council, the police and the cqc. Although care homes like this are notorious for getting away with this. I wasn’t treated like a proper victim, just a punch bag.

    The staff are complicit in letting him get away with stuff and the manager is a psychopath. I am unsure of whether to take them on as a company, but they are getting sued at present by another staff member.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Kat.
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 31 total)