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Lula

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  • #369689
    Lula
    Participant

    Yes sure❤

    #369588
    Lula
    Participant

    @Tim

    “He is selfish as he didn’t think about the implications of his behaviour on you until you pointed it out and made it clear to him. He only gained from it.”    Yes u r right, he jst thought of himself, unaware of the results it can cause…

    “You were also complicit”   i completely understand ,it was me who didn’t set up boundaries for him, nor did he know any boundaries at that time.But at that time i thought he is interested in me therefore i kept allowing him . But when i came to know the truth i still didn’t stop him,i let him continue it,that was my mistake. I could have stopped it. But i wanted to save this friendship. I never counted this suffering in self love this was my mistake therefore i let it happen until it ruined me badly.

     

    Thankyou for being my mentors❤ @Tim and @anita .You both will always be in my prayers.❤

     

    @anita … You are so right abt all u said … Will answer ur thoughts after my test which is after 2 weeks. Right now I don’t want to waste my time thinking what’s right or wrong abt him ,for these 2 weeks .

    Will be back after my test.. Till then u both take care of yourselves❤🌸

    -Love from Lula

     

    #369549
    Lula
    Participant

    @tim

     

    No,He isn’t selfish… he thought i didn’t had any feelings for him at that time ,therefore he used to tell me about his gf when things were going wrong with them…

    Bcz he thought that when she knows i have a gf, how can she develop feelings for me… He didn’t know it developed before her gf came back…

    All he thought that we both are Having all these talks just as friends.

     

    Yes he regrets for all those talks when he had her gf ,even when he was single too…he now know that he shouldn’t have done those talks even when his gf wasn’t there with him bcz he had her in his heart.

     

    I am not continuing this friendship ,i know i have to leave him after my test … Right now i am not leaving him is because it would affect my studies even more.

     

    I had realized it was disrespectful to me ,of all he had done to me.He realized too.

    But now i can’t hurt him in return.

     

     

    Thankyou for ur good wishes tim🌸

    Btw can i know how old are you?If u want to share.

     

     

    -Lula

     

    #369547
    Lula
    Participant

    Hey @anita

    It was my best frnd..it’s been 4 and half years.. I starting loving him when he was single Back in 2016 ..he had told me that he hates her and i believed … And then after a year he told me in 2017 that she is back … I had already feelings for him at that time… we sexted ,the thing was i thought he loves me too …but i was wrong,he still loved her ex…she was always there in his heart … But even after she came back in his life..he still used to have romantic talks with me… I told him it’s wrong talking with a frnd like this when u have ur gf..he used to stop temporarily but never stopped actually … Bcz he had always seen me as friend nothing more…

    Years passed and i suffered with all doubts ,i wanted to save this friendship.

     

    The day when u told me to open up to him after ur test was when i texted him that i need to tell u something.It was august 24.

    My test delayed so many times.

    Now it’s in December .

    He was insisting me to tell him on 13 nov that what i wanted to tell him and that now test is delayed so u can openup and so that ur burden can lighten up . i told him i m not ready for it bcz i knew it would affect my studies. But he thought it’s not something serious . So i gave him a summary ,still he took it light … Until i gave him all the details and shared ny whole story.

    He was constantly crying ,ashamed of what he had done to me ,saying i destroyed someone’s life without even knowing it… And that i will regret for it for my whole life …

     

    @anita u had told me that after i tell him everything ,u will let me know …so here i am.

     

    I have my test in December,so i told him i m gonna leave u after my test.

     

     

    #369534
    Lula
    Participant

    He also said that he hate himself for this…after listening my story..for the pain he had caused to me… He said do u think after all this i would be happy after she and i get engaged?

    Then i felt bad that i shouldn’t have gone in that details..i don’t want him to hate himself atleast . i haven’t told him many other things that caused me pain bcz of him that i still remember but he may have forgotten it that also disturbs me but i couldn’t mention every single thing.

     

    I jst don’t want him to hate himself. Me being in love with him can’t see him hating himself for anything.

    #369533
    Lula
    Participant

    He also said that he hate himself for this…after listening my story..for the pain he had caused to me… He said do u think after all this i would be happy after she and i get engaged?

    Then i felt bad that i shouldn’t have gone in that details..i don’t want him to hate himself atleast . i haven’t told him many other things that caused me pain bcz of him that i still remember but he may have forgotten it that also disturbs me but i couldn’t mention every single thing.

     

    I jst don’t want him to hate himself.

    #369532
    Lula
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>He is ashamed that he did this all in my test time..so now he keeps motivating me for the test.</p>
    But the attachment i have with him ..uhh… I don’t know how this attachment is gonna end. I couldn’t stop myself from talking to him from more than 5,7 days that also jst bcz of my test.

    Any ideas/suggestions of how to end attachments with a person ?

    #369531
    Lula
    Participant

    Hi @Tim

    He is 21y.o and i am 20y.o… Yeah i think it was his immaturity. He had all those *** talks with me as a frnd,with no feelings other than friend for me.

    I told him i can’t leave u right now bcz i know if i leave u now it would effect my studies the most and i can’t do that to myself…so will leave him after my test.

    Yes i am trying to focus on my studies.

    Thanks.

    #369530
    Lula
    Participant

    Dear @anita

    Yes u understood correctly.

    I didn’t receive an answer from ur side and couldn’t wait and i couldn’t tolerate that he knew that it’s tHe thing but still he did .. And then i opened up to him…

    I told him each and every thing… You had told me u will let me know if i open up so..

    He is ashamed of what he had done… He couldn’t tolerate it and was crying continuously… I have mentioned this in my first post.

    #369284
    Lula
    Participant

    Heyyy @anita and @Tim

    I hope u both are fine. It’s lula here.. Do u remember the topic “i love my best friend but he already loves someone else” ? It was me who wrote to u and u both gave me good advices…

    I i had told u that after my exams i am gonna open up to my frnd that what i feel for him and all that and leave him then , but due to some reasons my test delayed…it’s in december now..and the date is not even confirmed yet … The thing is now that when i took this decision of telling him abt my feelings that night in august i texted him that i m gonna tell u abt something .. He insisted me to tell him rn for abt 2,3 times but i didn’t . Yesterday he insisted again and then he said i think i know what it could be about..i said u r not cnfrm..and he said cnfrm… And like i toldd him at start while he was insisting that u m not ready to tell u rn … And then he suddenly told me that “i think u loved me somewhere in our journey ,am i right? …it’s not something to mind ,atleast u r gonna lift this weight by telling” while he was insisting me i was all shivering at start..

    I haven’t seen his msg nor replied to him… I want to ask if i should approve to him that yes this was the reason or after my test?? Bcz this test is gonna decide my future and i can’t risk it for anything!! …i couldn’t stop talking to him for more than a week while i was preparing for my test …

    And now when i know i m gonna stop talking to him after approving, it’s gonna ruin my preparation for my test..

    He asked me how these feelings developed like is it bcz of ur frnds or what?

    he don’t even know his mistake that it had always been him doing it to me…

    He was like now u have time jst open up ,we will sort it out,i told him i m not ready but like still he did it to me ,he didn’t even think that it’s gonna effect my studies afterwards… Or may be he thought that i m gonna still stay with him even after telling him ..

    So now what should i do..plz help

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)