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Luna

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  • #382384
    Luna
    Participant

    Thank you Teak for making time to read and answer my post💙

    What you said is true. He lost his father to addiction and insanity. So with all of this what you said about him trying to save me at first looks true.

    Its not like I dont like anything about him at all. I like That he is a gentleman. I like that he is extremely polite and respectful of others (professors, elders, and his family and friends). Most of the guys around me were very childish, just like my ex but He was more mature than them. He is also very responsible and generous.

    About him being disappointed and heartbroken if he found out that you’re so unsure about him I tried to end it once. It was after a fight. I told him that things does not work and that it was better to end the relationship. He didn’t know what to say at first. In the end he insisted that the problems started ever since we moved away and everything would be fine if we tried. He made promises and said that he would correct the behaviors that I thought were wrong and that his life would be very sad and unbearable without me. I felt guilty and did not insist on whether or not we should breakup I wasnt sure the decision to breakup was right and didn’t insist. I was and maybe I am still looking for my feelings to return.

     

    #382373
    Luna
    Participant

    Dear anita                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I’m sorry, I was very busy for a while and I could not answer quickly. Thank you for your reply. I laughed a little after reading my post. I think I was very emotional. It really looked like I was in a courthouse. I think the reason is that I feel I will be responsible for his sadness after the relationship ends. I’m afraid that I might regret it and I’m afraid of feeling guilty for him too. I know he will be against ending the relationship. Earlier, after a fight, I told him to end our relationship, but seeing his insistence and my own fear, I did not insist on it.

    #381983
    Luna
    Participant

    Dear anita

    thanks for reading my long post

    1_ I have not been with this man for the last three years. We were only together for a  year and lived together for about the last 4 months of that first year. After the separation, our relationship became long distance.

    2_ yes and no. The reason for my decesion is also becues of  job oppertunities. I can not work in my field in my hometown. It was hard for us to separate at the time and we both promised to try to get close.

    My feelings are very complicated. Something between love and not loving. I feel like a stupid person who needs to be told what to do about it because I no longer trust my feelings. I do not understand how I got from feeling in love to being like this and whether this feeling is due to distance or whether I am creating problems  in my head or not. Whether I will still feel this way when I get to see him or not, I do not know. When he says that he loves me I say I love him too but I feel guilty for not knowing the truth about whether it’s true or not. I know that if he finds out about these thoughts, he will be very disappointed and heartbroken.

    He was very supportive to me and did everything for my well-being when I was deeply depressed. I know he cares about his loved ones more than himself and he does not deserve what I think about him.

    3_ Yes. My friends are people who have met him and they know him since collage and some are living in his part of the country

    But I know its not like they know him better than me …

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