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Regina

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #126613
    Regina
    Participant

    Hi Dee,

    You seem to be in a pickle. Actually, lets me honest, you´re going through hell. Feeling that your life is slipping through your fingers and you have no control what so ever over your being, your mind, your body and your thoughts. I don´t know an addiction to meth, but I know a hard-core addiction to smoking and my ex-boyfriend. Unlike meth, smoking is socially allowed and even if its expensive it doesnt compare to meth. My addiction to my boyfriend is not even visible, but it makes me want to die as well. Not being able to see him, feel him and be with him. Its love, but love can be a drug as well. And when you can´t get your fix its unberable. Unfortunately for me he´s not for sale, or I would have done the same thing you did, I would have sold my laptop, my camera and gotten into debt just to be with him.

    So I know, way different levels. Nevertheless, I know adiction. I know the incapacity of not being able to control it, of letting it have a life of its own.

    I´m sorry, I´m sorry you´re struggling so much.I´m sorry you´re going through this. We´re all in the same hell just different devils. However, I do agree with the endless things I´ve read. We HOLD THE POWER, but our minds are so weak that we we´ve let them govern our lives.

    I can´t really give you advise as to how to quit meth and get your life together. Because I find my self in the same situation, just different drug. The only thing I can offer you is my support. If you need someone to vent with write at yumiyumimaria@gmail.com

    #126374
    Regina
    Participant

    I told him, I would stop planning everything and I would move to NZ as soon as I get my visa, that I would change the things in me that stress him out. I am putting every cell in my body towards being less controlling about the future and just letting go more. I told him that I´d move there if that´s what required for us to keep being together.

    #126373
    Regina
    Participant

    no, i can´t i love him too much

    #126340
    Regina
    Participant

    Thank you Anita, you´re completely right, he chose to disconnect. He told me: “being with you is too stressful for me right now, I can´t deal with our relationship and everything else in my life (depression)” I just don´t know how to move on. I feel like he left me on stand-by. Not knowing if we´ll get back together or not.

    #126331
    Regina
    Participant

    That sounds ver acurate, it does seem like he’s built an emotional wall, but how do i bring it down??? I want to be there for him, i want to help him with his depression, how do i make him want to connect more?? Can i ??? You’re completely right. While depressed i looked forward towards building a new life with him in New Zealand or brunei or anywhere, i looked towards that and i feel like ive lost it all, i just love him soooo much i dont know how to get him back

    #126325
    Regina
    Participant

    Thank you Anita,

    Your words a very useful to me. I just feel so confused and really need external perspective to make sense of it all. He said that during a moment of clarity (while on antidepressants) which is when he broke up with me. that he saw things clearly for othe first time in months and that that´s why he dump me.

    I battled depression while being iwth him and not for one second did I thought about breaking up with him. I loved him eventhrough depression, that´s why I find it so hard that he doesnt.

    #126324
    Regina
    Participant

    Hi,

    Your post made me very thoughtful. Are you in love with the idea of marriage and children or with your boyfriend? Sometimes it sucks but you can´t have it all with the person that you love. That´s why so many end up marrying someone who on paper seems fine but emotionally and sentimentally things are all wrong.

    What is marriage anyway… just a piece of paper!! My boyfriend dump me, partly, because I was pressuring hi into getting married. I thought the piece of paper was going to make him commit more, when in reality it doesnt, if someone wants out wether they´re married or not, they´ll get out. That´s why the divorce rate is so high.

    At the start you didnt wanted children, but you saw your friends getting married and having children and so thought you wanted those things. Do you really???? or are you just following the pre-canned life and formula to happiness that has been packed and sold to the masses.

    Do you truly love your boyfriend?
    What do you truly want from your heart? Marriage and children? or are you just feeling pressured to get these things because other people are getting them.

    I just know that true authentic and pure love doesn´t come everyday. It´s rare, so if you´ve found it, don´t let it go, until you´ve really found what is it you want

    #126319
    Regina
    Participant

    I´m not married, never have been and enduring a heartbreak from getting dump, in part because I couldnt relax. Because I was uptight.

    My situation is entirely different to yours. But here´s my personal perspective.

    If you love him and you really want to save your marriage you should maybe try therapy. I sort of know how you feel (maybe) that you can´t trust your feelings and emotions with him anymore because you´re afraid of getting hurt again and blaming yourself for trusting him and letting yourself be exposed.

    There´s two things that can happen from this:

    1- you keep your guard up and maybe ruin your marriage because you´re not open to trying it out again with him
    2- Letting your guard down maybe things work perfectly, maybe they don´t but at least you can rest in peace knowing you gave it your all. If your marriage does indeed fail you can at least know you gave it your all.

    Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. You´re not forgiving his previous behaviour. He´s trying to change and you´re not forgiving what he did in the past. Yes! your relationship was rocky and built a protective hard to care for yourself. But are you willing to give it another chance or do you simply wish to have nothing to do with it?

    This article about emotions is really good. it might help you unclutter everything you´ve been building up inside yourself. http://www.mkprojects.com/emotions

    Wishing you all the best and that you can love and be loved again.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 12 months ago by Regina.
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