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zenith

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 304 total)
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  • #428115
    zenith
    Participant

    Thank you for your words Anita. But its hard to convince that for my OCD. OCD tries to convince that something will happen. Now matter how much i tell myself I am good person the OCD thoughts dont go away.

    #428113
    zenith
    Participant

    I feel sad and guilty when i dont do the compulsions.

    #428112
    zenith
    Participant

    I am sorry i misspelled GOD

    #428111
    zenith
    Participant

    Thoughts: I should change myself otherwise something bad will happen(Gold will reject me)

    Emotions: Sad, Guilty, shame(for being authentic self, something is wrong with me )

    #428106
    zenith
    Participant

    To be honest i dont know Anita. Me ranting on this thread is not going to change anything. We have planned vacation(going to India). I am already dreading about it. I feel like i dont belong anywhere. When I am in US , my  anxiety/religious ocd gets the best out of me. When i go to India its PEOPLE. Sometimes i feel like dont have a safe place where i belong.(which used to be my mothers place before marriage).Its hard to survive with anxiety. I get triggered by something or the other. The voice in my head hurts me more than anything else in this world. Emotional wounds are much harder to heal than the physical wounds.

    #428098
    zenith
    Participant

    He knows about my OCD. Its just the rant about my in laws.

    #428097
    zenith
    Participant

    Its not about strangers exactly. But my husband has access to my phone(its a mutual thing). I cant imagine him going through this thread if i forget to close the browser in my phone. Sometimes i post from my phone too.

    #428095
    zenith
    Participant

    Lol. This time its not about people. Its about religion. I have doing great since my therapy last year. But looks like religious OCD is knocking on my door again. Like i am a bad Muslim and going to hell. Just trying to sit with thoughts and accepting the uncertainty. Practicing ERP. I remember telling about this thread and tiny buddha to my sister once. Like how i vent here and how you have helped me to understand the root cause of the anxiety. She might have posted it. Did she blame.  I am thinking to delete this thread too. I dont want to strangers see this thread badly talking about my friends, family. I trust you but at the same time i dont feel like posting my personal stuff on a public thread. The other thing is i cant imagine my husband reading this thread that would hurt him alot.

    #428091
    zenith
    Participant

    I am feeling okay. Just having another anxious episode and trying to manage it. lol. what post is that ?

    #428089
    zenith
    Participant

    Hi Anita.. How are you ?

    #427699
    zenith
    Participant

    Hey Anita.. I am doing good. How are you ? I wanted to check on you but i forgot to post on this forum. As i am tied up with my work.

    #426770
    zenith
    Participant

    I just put a happy face. I dont show it. when i was frustrated with my SIL i went to my room and vented it out to my husband.

    #426768
    zenith
    Participant

    I read your post Anita. I dont show my anger to my mil ,sil or my friends. My friend has seen my anger only once. When my child went all alone to a party. The only person who sees my anger is my husband not all the time only sometimes.  When i started meeting up indian people in the place where i stay. There was lot of drama and gossip. As i cannot deal with drama so i am always careful about the people i meet. I am now close to only two friends. As i get closer i start expecting more thats when i get hurt. People like my husband expect nothing in return. Yeah may be i have become more sensitive or reactive to the way others treats me. I did talk to my friend about the new year eve in a polite way. We sorted it out. She kind of started saying no when ever we used to go out and became closer with others. Thats when i started distancing myself from her. I will try to  acknowledge and feel the anger.  I scheduled a session with my therpaist and see how it goes. Because this anger and anxiety are really effecting me.

    #426740
    zenith
    Participant

    Few days i was angry with my friend who celebrated the new year eve with other friend of hers and she didnt even tell me. I got to know this through a mutual friend of ours. I was angry that she told the mutual friend and not me. I am trying to let it go saying thats ok and i just couldnt stop obsessing about it. The anger is hurting me emotionally.

    #426739
    zenith
    Participant

    I agree with you Anita.May be just like an ocd fear my anger needs to be addressed too. When it comes to fear emotion i have learnt to sit with the discomfort from my ocd therapist.How do i deal with anger emotion?

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 304 total)