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zenith

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 101 total)
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  • #402629
    zenith
    Participant

    I dont show it on my face Anita.I speak with her only when required its not like i ignore her all the time.

    #402604
    zenith
    Participant

    I am being gracious.Its just that i am venting out here.

    #402596
    zenith
    Participant

    Yeah i know its the custom which my parents follow.I dont want to do it.I feel like there is nothing wrong in helping themselves.When i go to my co sisters house she doesnt serve me food at the dining table.There were days when i used to cook for myself when i was at my co sisters house and i dont expect my co sister to do all those things.My mil doesnt tell her to do all those things to me.Its only for guests i am supposed serve food on the plate for my husband as well.I dont know why i feel like i am different from her.My way of respecting people is different from her.Even when i was a kid my mum used to cook everyday.Inspite of cooking for him he used to expect my mum to serve food the plate and give it to him.I used to tell my dad to help himself.I dont know why since childhood i always felt there is nothing in helping yourselves.I have seen some of my indian friends who dont follow such custom.I feel there is nothing wrong in it.

    #402594
    zenith
    Participant

    How should i react in this situation.I dont want to treat elders as kids.She tells nobody in the house to serve me food but i am supposed to serve food and water and treat them with respect.

    #402593
    zenith
    Participant

    Hi Anita.I am just sharing an incident that happened today.We came to our friends party.My friend invited my mil and cosister as well.My friend served them some snacks.The water bottle was just few feet away from them.My mil was asking me to get water for her.She tells me to serve food for her on the plate.She doesnt tell my co sister  all these things as she is elder to me.My co sister is not a kid right she can help herself.I dont know why these little things seem hurtful to me.

    #402560
    zenith
    Participant

    Thanks for your wishes Anita.I have seen this happening to my mother.My grandmother treated her dils respectfully except my mother that was because my parents werent that rich.In india it happens people treat you well if you are rich or working or based on the gender.I know my mil is a good person but still i feel she treats me differently.During our intially years of marriage i spoke to my mil normally then she started judging me thats when i stopped.As told you already she tells me to be submissive like her which i dont like.I even told my co sister about it.My co sister  never had such exeperience with my mil.I never heard my mil praising me not infront of me atleast.May be i should stop taking things personally.Let her be the way she wants to.I have to come to the terms that the way she treats doesnt define me it defines her.She is not that judgemental towards my co sister may be thats the reason why my co sister doesnt hesitate to talk to my mil.

    #402537
    zenith
    Participant

    I am  a friendly person when compared to my co sister.My fil once told me the same thing that my co sister is bit reserved than me but still she gets treated better than me.

    #402536
    zenith
    Participant

    Yeah i will teach my daughter the same.Treat everyone equally irrespective of gender,whether they rich or poor,elder or younger.Treat everyone with equal respect.Yes i am crying in my bedroom and toddler sleeping next to me.Now i have to cook and clean for three families everyday with little help from mil.I once told my husband that her mother treats me differently.He complained to me saying that i am the one who doesnt talk.I am a very friendly person i stopped talking to her because i dont like the way she talks to me.After coming to US i was talking to her in a friendly way and i told her that i am looking for a job now.She told me that how i am gonna manage household and my daughter after starting the job.She didnt even think about her son helping me because its solely a womans responbility to take care of the house even if a woman is working or not.I hate such sexist talks.I already once told you that she started comparing me with someothers dil.I hate these conversations.Thats the reason why i talk to her very minimally.I even asked my co sister if mil ever talks to her like that.She said no.As i said with my co sister she talks to her in a very friendly way and she is the one who initiates conversation with my co sister.I  hate this part.I cant even run away from this shit.Tomorrow is my birthday and its gonna be a just another sad day.My husband comes with a baggage and its really hard to accept them.It frightening to think how i am gonna manage when we go move to india in future.

    #402533
    zenith
    Participant

    I am literally crying now Anita.I dont know why it really feels bad.I treat them nicely when compared to my co sister but this is what i get in the end.It sucks i have to bare them for three more weeks.I hate it.I am trying to accept them the way they are but on top of that my mils drama with my co sister  is really hurting me deep down.I hate my husbands family to the core now.

    #402532
    zenith
    Participant

    My co sister is a working woman.I have always seen my mil praising her in front of me.She is always kind with her.I heard my mil saying to her mother that my husband,my brother in law and his wife are really working hard.I am a stay at home mom.I work hard too taking care of todller and cooking for them and cleaning everyday.But still it doesnt matter.Once she directly told me that my husband only should always take the decision as he is the sole bread winner of the family.

    #402530
    zenith
    Participant

    I am doing ok Anita.My husbands elder brothers family came over to stay with us for two weeks.I see that my mil behaves very differently with my co sister as she is the eldest daughter in law of family.She smiles and talks to her in a sweetly.She talks o me very rarely even if she does she will keep complaining that i am doing something not doing according to her own way.She talks to my co sister very nicely and never complains to her.I hate it to see my mil treating with utmost respect and doesnt even treat me like that.I dont know why people take me for granted.As i told you before my husband treats my mil with more respect and talk to her in a nice way.Now its my mil treating my co sister better than me.I really feel bad.I feel like she is acting like a different personality altogether.

    #402527
    zenith
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    How are you ?

    #401875
    zenith
    Participant

    I am good Anita.I did talk to my husband regarding that issue and we sorted it out.I am treating my mil good but trying to avoid having long conversations inorder to avoid getting hurt.Because she is a completely different person and i fear she will rub her opinions on me.

    #401857
    zenith
    Participant

    Yes you did tell me about.

    #401636
    zenith
    Participant

    heart**

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 101 total)