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zenith

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 175 total)
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  • in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #414000
    zenith
    Participant

    Sure.Have a good day.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413997
    zenith
    Participant

    Thanks for the suggestion. I will talk to my therapist about this in my upcoming appointment on Thursday.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413994
    zenith
    Participant

    I feel guilty for waking him up and asking for help instead of coping it by myself.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413993
    zenith
    Participant

    Some days he  sleeps in a different room. On days my sleeps gets disturbed I wake him up in the middle of the night and ask him to sleep right next to me on my bed. I just tell him that I am feeling anxious and he holds my hand just to make me feel safe.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413988
    zenith
    Participant

    I am able to cope up with discomfort or thoughts during the day. The same discomfort doesn’t let me sleep at night.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413983
    zenith
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    How should I overcome my anxiety without depending on my husband. I  don’t talk to him about my anxiety. I rely on him when my sleep gets disturbed at night. When I had a an anxiety attack since December I am unable to sleep at least once in a week especially on Sunday night. Through the week I am busy with office work and I get tired after office so it doesn’t disturb my sleep. During weekend as my mind is occupied with the OCD thoughts so it disturbs my sleep at night. I rely on him for the comfort at night. When I had anxiety during my childhood, I use to rely on my mother now its my husband. How do I  break this cycle ? I am scared of being alone because of this anxiety. I do pray and seek Gods help before going to sleep every time but still my sleep gets disturbed. I  have a goal set for 2022.It is to overcome my anxiety and stop being emotionally dependent on anyone.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413516
    zenith
    Participant

    Thanks for your kind words Anita!!

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413454
    zenith
    Participant

    Thanks for input Anita.I am thinking in the same way like you said not obsessing about future.Thinking about things i can do to be finaciallly independent.Thats true i cant even find a ocd therapist in India.The therapist that i met is really good.During our last appointmnet he listed out all the obsessive thought/fears and the compulsions that i am doing.Slowly he wants me sit with those fears one by one.He also told me that i overcame so many themes by myself.Instead of beginner level treatment he would start with a bit advanced level.I felt so proud so myself how far i have come.I overcame some of the themes,I learnt driving,I overcame my social anxiety,I got a job.I never thought i am capable of all these things.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413449
    zenith
    Participant

    I wish i never came to US in first place.I like how a woman is treated here.People dont judge you based upon your dress.Nobody cares about your life.People are very intrusive in India when it comes to your personal life.The only pro i can think of going to back to India is staying close to my in laws and my parents.I cant even cook what i want in my laws house it everything will done according to husbands wish.I have to live like a stranger.Sorry for ranting.I just cant stop thinking about this.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413448
    zenith
    Participant

    You know how many sacrifices it takes in a marriage to keep it going.Then for my daughter.Now i have to sacrifice my career and wishes for the sake of my in laws.I even feel selfish for thinking about myself this time.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413446
    zenith
    Participant

    Hey Anita!!How are you ? Yesterday me and my  husband were talking about moving back to India after few years.The idea of moving back to india always scares me.I have to stay with my in laws.I dont like the way i will be treated by them or the way woman is treated in general.Sometimes i feel like my husband doesnt think about me when it comes to his parents.When we got married in 2015.My career was going well.Then eventually we have to leave india  because he got a project in USA.I recently got a job now.I am doing well in my career.I feel like staying in USA.Now he wants to go back because he wants to take care of his parents.I feel like i have no say in this one.I am on his dependent visa and i cant stay here if he goes back to India.I eventually have to go back.When it comes to his parents he doesnt think about how i feel.I hate being  dependant on him.In india a woman is never taught how to be financially dependent especially my parents.Beacuse of my anxiety my career was a disaster in India.Now i am trying to overcome my anxiety and trying to concentrate on my career.I am finanicially and emotionally dependant on him.I dont know what to do in this case.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413130
    zenith
    Participant

    Thanks for your reply Anita. I just emailed my therapist asking about his availability this week and waiting for him to respond. Then I will start seeing him once in a week.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #413124
    zenith
    Participant

    Hey Anita,

    Happy New Year!!My 2023 started with an anxiety attack 🙁 . I had an appointment with my therapist in person. It went well. I told him my whole story. Then he spoke about how ERP works. It actually went pretty well. He is the first therapist who spoke about ERP in much detail and understand how these OCD thoughts work and all other stuff. He told me to schedule therapy with him once in a week. The problem is I work from 9-5. I am not sure if my manger would be okay if I leave early for therapy once in a week. I was doing good after the appointment. Then on 31st we had a new year party at my friends home. We were playing poker and having fun. I got back home and then started having racing thoughts that I am a bad Muslim for playing poker as it is not allowed in my religion. I wasn’t playing for money. It was fun just playing with friends. But still the voice in my head pops up saying  I am such a bad Muslim. I calmed myself down and slept. Then yesterday night I don’t know why I could sleep at all. My heart started racing and just slept for 3 hrs. I got bonus at work and received appreciation messages from my managers, but still I am not happy because of my OCD. It sucks.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #411800
    zenith
    Participant

    yeah death is certain. But what happens after death is uncertain to me. I will talk about this to therapist on my Thursday’s appointment. Thanks for your time. I appreciate it. You have a good day.

    in reply to: How to accept my flaws and be myself #411796
    zenith
    Participant

    Yes it doesn’t calm the fear of death due to fear of hell.  May be I don’t want to figure to what happens after death. I will lead my life according to values and try to accept the uncertainty, which is the hardest part  for me to do.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 175 total)