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StarFlower

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • #389507
    StarFlower
    Participant

    You’re completely right. Thank you, and have a nice night. I have a long recovery ahead of me. I think a therapist would be best suited for my problems at this point.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by StarFlower.
    #389455
    StarFlower
    Participant

    My siblings were too young to understand the full story and the weight of my actions, so my actions still involved them, but they didn’t suffer particularly because of it due to not remembering/not really understanding what really happened. So to me, there are actions that I regret, but they don’t remember. I’m sure that if they did understand, then it would have been more gravel on my part, but I just could’ve worded it better instead of saying that I hurt them.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by StarFlower.
    • This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by StarFlower.
    #389454
    StarFlower
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>It was just me not paying attention, and failing to be aware of myself. I.E I wasn’t trying to be malicious, but ended up doing things I regret if that makes sense.</p>

    #389449
    StarFlower
    Participant

    You are right SSS. I’ve been trying to improve my past behavior, and I have been looking into seeing a therapist about my whole imposter syndrome. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get past my feelings on inadequacy.

    #389448
    StarFlower
    Participant

    Yes, it’s quite confusing, but in context, it makes sense. They’re young, so they don’t really remember anything except what’s in front of them.

    #389440
    StarFlower
    Participant

    Well, they were to my younger siblings. They weren’t affected by it physically l, and mentally, they just see me as their older siblings. I won’t go too much into detail, but it was basically a terrible oversight without malicious intent, something that while might not affect them, I still think about and shudder. I try to be a good sister and friend in anyway I can, and people (for the most part) believe that I’m an inherently good person. I never NOT help some one, and I never go out of my way to be spiteful. I try to act “good” but then I remember these events and remember that I’m not as good as people say that I am. It’s been like this since middle school. I’ve been the “good” kid, the “good” daughter. But I don’t feel like a good person because of these things. Like I said, terrible oversights on my part that didn’t mentally affect anyone, but are still pretty for a lack of better word “unholy”. Had I never done those things, if I knew what I knew now, then perhaps I wouldn’t feel like such an imposter. I’ve talked to my mother on the subject, but she just tells me that it’s the past and there’s little I can do change it, which is very disheartening to hear.

    #389431
    StarFlower
    Participant

    Just to clarify, I’ve known by boyfriend since 8th grade, not since we were 8

     

    #389409
    StarFlower
    Participant

    Also to clarify, I meant that I known my boyfriend since 8th grade, not since we were 8.

    #389399
    StarFlower
    Participant

    Hello Isabel. From what I’ve read, it sounds like you’re unhappy in your marriage. Cheating is never ok, and you should never make any justifications for it, but in this scenario, it seems like your husband was highly critical of you and wasn’t satisfied with the relationship, and neither are you. Usually, unhappy people under someone’s control usually try to undermine said control, even subconsciously. Now, you didn’t go as far as to sleep with your coworker, so you should absolve yourself physically at the very least. You are not perfect Isabel, no one is, and if you are truly not satisfied, then I suggest leaving the relationship. However, the fact that you have an 18 year old in attribution to your extensive marriage also might make this hard. You can explain to your husband that he should stop making you feel inadequate, and that you two are partners, not a parent and a child. Best wishes Isabel, StarSeed.

     

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