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Search Results for "gratitude" — 798 posts

How to Feel Better When You’re Down (Without Forcing Yourself to Be Positive)

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“Forget the failures. Keep the lessons.” ~Dalai Lama

The year had finally come. I’d officially entered the “adult” world after celebrating my thirtieth birthday.

I’d enjoyed being in my twenties. It was an incredible time for self-growth and healing after growing up in an unstable environment with a narcissistic, alcoholic father, and also a time of living life fully, having fun, and going on adventures.

I felt pretty happy…until I hit thirty.

I began examining my life not so positively anymore.

Health problems had become more frequent and scary, my career path was ominous, I had not settled into …

How High Expectations Can Lead to Disappointment, Depression, and Anxiety

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“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ~Alexander Pope

I was sitting on the couch in my bedroom, at sunset, looking at the trees outside my window. I felt a profound sadness, frustration, disappointment, and desperation taking me over.

While I was staring into oblivion, all my expectations came flashing to my mind.

“No, this is not what my life was supposed to be. I was supposed to be successful. I was supposed to have my own house. I was supposed to be happy. What happened?”

What happened was that I am part of the …

3 Ways to Tell If You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship

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“The harder you fight to hold onto specific assumptions, the more likely there’s gold in letting them go.” ~John Seely Brown

It was Christmas night and I was ecstatic. He would be there any minute.

I touched up my gloss and gave myself a quick once over in the hallway mirror. Despite having had a hearty dinner at my Mum’s, my stomach was flat and my dress fit me like a glove, enveloping my curves perfectly. I was ready and raring to go.

Glancing at the clock, I wondered where he was. I double checked my phone to see if …

Why I’m Broke, Single, and Happier Than Ever (and How You Can Be Happier Too)

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“You must make your dream a priority in order for it to become your life.” ~Bob Proctor.

I am sitting in the courtyard of the little place I’ve just moved into, an old washhouse separate from a beautiful big Victorian house, by the coast in Cornwall.

The washhouse is no bigger than a shed; it consists of a living space and a wet room.

I sleep on a day bed, which doubles as my sofa. My neat, compact kitchen is approximately two steps from my bed/sofa, and the wet room houses a shower, toilet, and sink.

I’m thirty-two, and I …

Dealing with Emotional Triggers: What to Do When You’re Stuck on a Feeling

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“As you grow more practiced in noticing your triggers, offering yourself kindness and remembering that the power to heal your life is always available in the present moment, the situations that once set you off lose their explosive potential.” ~Martha Beck

Recently, I stayed with a friend I don’t see very often so I could attend a mindfulness event near her home. I took the train to her apartment about an hour before the event. We embraced and spent the first few moments together catching up on things.

And then my cellphone dinged.

Which, of course, it does every five …

You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through, So Be Kind

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“Give everyone the benefit of the doubt today…” ~Lori Deschene, Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges

Here’s something I’ve learned firsthand: No matter how someone looks or acts, you truly never know what’s happening in their lives.

Five years ago my husband Walter was dying from cancer. Twice during a thirteen-month period he was hospitalized, thirty minutes away from our home.

I spent about ten hours a day at the hospital, plus travel time during those long weeks. I was a wreck.

I don’t know what I looked like to the outside world. Inside, I felt impatient, angry, sad, out …

Why We Don’t Need to Apologize So Often & How to Do It Well When We Do

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“The ability to apologize sincerely and express regret for the unskillful things we say or do is an art. A true apology can relieve a great deal of suffering in the other person.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

My life has been full of apologies. I’ve been on both the receiving and giving end of the good, the bad, and the ugly apology.

Just recently a dear friend who I hadn’t connected with in a long time reached out and asked if we could meet for coffee. I sort of backhandedly blew her off and told her I would try to meet …

5 Ways I’ve Lived Life More Fully Since My Cancer Scare

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“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~Albert Einstein

A few months ago, I had my first mammogram. I have two first cousins who died of breast cancer very young, as well as an aunt that recently passed away from the disease, so I started my mammograms a bit earlier than most.

This mammogram was quite routine, except that a few days later they asked me to come back for another one, as well as an ultrasound. This second visit was …

10 Lessons My Mother’s Death Taught Me About Healing and Happiness

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“Grief, when it comes, is nothing like we expect it to be.” ~Joan Didion

This spring marked ten years since I lost my mother. One ordinary Thursday, she didn’t show up to work, and my family spent a blur of days frantically hanging missing person fliers, driving all over New England, and hoping against reason for a happy outcome.

My mother was prone to frequent mood swings, but she also talked to my two older brothers and me multiple times a day, and going off the grid was completely out of character. How does someone just vanish? And why?…

The Art of Being Happily Single

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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

Over the past ten years, I always had a man by my side. I was always in a relationship.

I was in a relationship for eight years before my ex and I got engaged, then broke it off because of the distance—my ex’s reason. Not long after that I got into a two-year relationship with a man who loved, yet cheated on me. It was a messy breakup.

So after ten years in relationships, I found myself …

100 Reasons to be Grateful Today

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“Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.” ~Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

I began my gratitude practice at a time when I desperately needed help seeing the good in my life.

Several failed relationships and a broken heart had left me blind to the incredible gifts the Universe had given me, and I was rutted in depression for three years. I couldn’t seem to focus on anything besides what I had lost. Happiness seemed like a cosmic joke.

The more I focused on what I wasn’t grateful for, like the love …

The Good News About Feeling Bad (And How to Get Through It)

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“To honor and accept one’s shadow is a profound spiritual discipline. It’s whole-making and thus holy and the most important experience of a lifetime.” ~Robert Johnson

There’s nothing worse than having a bad day (or week or years…)

Or when emotions take over and carry us away.

Or when our relationships bring challenges.

Or when we endure great loss.

Or when we wish that just once when things started getting good, they stayed that way.

But difficult times are really offerings that show us what no longer serves us. And once they’re cleared, they no longer have power over …

21 Easy Ways to Create a Calm Mind (Without Meditating)

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“Learn to calm down the winds of your mind, and you will enjoy great inner peace.” ~Remez Sasson

While juggling a full-time job and my writing, I found it easy to lose track of the days. Weekends ceased to exist and my life ebbed and flowed between working and writing, the two constantly blurring into one another.

I dragged myself from day-to-day without a moment’s rest in between. When I did rest, I’d feel guilty for taking a break from working on my dreams, and it didn’t take long for the guilt to turn into frustration.

I wondered whether I’d …

How Complaining Rewires Your Brain for Negativity (And How to Stop)

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“Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better.” ~Unknown

When I was about sixteen or so, one of my parent’s friends got into some trouble with the law. When we’d visit him he’d often shake his head from side to side and mumble, my life is in the toilet.

He said it many times, for many years, even when things seemed to have gotten better for him.

My life is in the toilet was his mantra.

At the time I thought it was funny, so I adopted it for myself, until one day I started to believe it. …

5 Simple Words That Can Turn A Bad Day Around

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“If your heart is beating, if your lungs are breathing, if you are still alive… then it is not too late to do something kind, creative, generous, satisfying, and courageous. Today.” ~Alexandra Franzen

It was one of those days.

You know the ones—when nothing really bad happens, but everything just seems to go wrong. When lots of little annoying things happen and the day seems to spiral from there.

This was one of those days.

I had woken up with a headache and decided to hit the snooze button on my alarm (twice) so I didn’t have to face the …

6 Empowering Lessons Death Taught Me About Life

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“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss in life is what dies inside us while we live” ~Norman Cousins

I am not dead and I am not dying, so you may wonder why I write that death has taught me what I need to know about life.

I lost my mother when I was fifteen. Being a teenager, thoughts of anyone close to me dying had not entered my head. My mother had a brief illness and passed away unexpectedly at age forty-seven.

I remember that my schoolmates came to see me, and I kept thinking …

8 Simple Ways to De-Stress and Rejuvenate When You Can’t Take a Vacation

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“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

It’s a common theme—jobs keep piling up, new problems arise, and deadlines are nearing. Taking time out for yourself to de-stress and rejuvenate is so far down the to-do list you don’t even consider it a possibility.

But the long-term effects of putting yourself last are real, especially because they take a while to show. They creep up slowly until one day you’ve burnt out.

When I was in this position, it didn’t …

Coping with Anxiety When People Aren’t There for You

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“People aren’t always going to be there for you. That’s why you need to learn to handle things on your own.” ~Unknown

Anxiety is a box around your mind. It’s the cage in which your deepest worries start to pace, then walk, and gain momentum until they’re out of control.

Once these worries and scenarios take off and hit the walls of this box, they’re trapped, and tension starts building.

It can be an exhausting cycle of stress that you might think you have to face alone if you want to avoid opening yourself up to pity or rejection.

You …

How to Move Through Anxiety: A 5-Step Process for Feeling Unfelt Emotions

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“Anxiety happens when you try to think what you need to feel.” ~Unknown

Anxiety results from unfelt feelings. I battled anxiety for years because I was scared to admit that I was scared. When I felt a wave of anxiety, I would harden myself like a concrete pillar and refuse to be moved. I thought this made me strong, but it halted my emotional progress.

I didn’t have anxiety until my last major breakup four years ago. I was ashamed to consider myself weak, so I hid the pain in the back of my mind like skeletons in a closest.…

5 Ways to Show Your Love to Others (and Yourself)

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“Love isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.” ~Steven Hayes

Things go wrong in life. Distress and confusion can take root, sometimes leading to harsh self-criticism, depression, or anxiety.

We sense that love heals, and it does.

I once visited an orphanage for abandoned infants, and every toddler who I carried clung tightly to me. I can still feel their little arms clasping me desperately.

We crave love as we crave oxygen.

But what is love?

Is it something you wait for?

What if love is more than a feeling?

What if your choices and actions can bring the spirit …