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Search Results for "trust " — 1309 posts

The 4 Happiness Archetypes and How to Get Out of the Rat Race

“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.” ~Wayne Dyer

One day, I was complaining about not having enough days off to escape work and treat myself to a vacation. I was feeling stressed and tired. I can recall my stepfather looking into my eyes with a deep sense of peace and compassion.

“I hear you,” he said. “I know you work hard. Sometimes, I imagine myself jumping out of bed and going for a walk, whenever I want to.”

His words came …

Overcoming the Fear That Stands Between You and Your Dreams

“A few rare individuals refuse to have limited lives. They drive through tremendous amounts of pain—from rejections and failures to shorter moments of embarrassment and anxiety. Because they avoid nothing, they can pursue their highest aspirations. They seem more alive than the rest of us.” ~Phil Stutz and Barry Michels

If you were to see me in a social situation, you’d think that I’m confident.

And in most informal social settings, I am. Now.

I love people, love hearing their stories, so most of the time I trust my ability to relate and connect.

But this wasn’t always the …

Having Doubts Doesn’t Mean Your Relationship Is Doomed

“When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” ~Fred Rogers

There aren’t many clichés I resent more than this old chestnut about finding true love: “When you know, you know.”

As a late bloomer and skeptic who took her sweet time to get into a relationship, after decades of singleness and observation, nothing made me feel more like an outsider than the idea that love is an unexplainable phenomenon reserved for people who “know.”

In my early years of singledom, I believed I “knew” things. I had unwavering faith in a …

When Life Feels Hard and Unfair: 4 Lessons That Helped Me Cope

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” ~William James

Two years ago, I gave birth to my second daughter via a planned C-section at thirty-seven weeks.

My first daughter had been born via emergency C-section after seventeen hours of unmedicated labor. I had very much wanted a natural, intervention-free birth. Due to a number of issues, the surgery was so complicated that I was told it would be dangerous to ever go into labor, much less have a natural birth ever again.

Of course, this was devastating for me.

Still, I …

When You’re Hooked On an Abusive Partner and Scared to Walk Away

“We set the standard for how we want to be treated. Our relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

I’ll be honest. I knew my ex was a screwed-up guy. My head told me that not long after we met. The alarm bells were screeching. Could I hear them? Of course! Did I listen to them? No. My heart told my head to sod off and I agreed.

Here was a charismatic, gorgeous man focusing all his attention on me. I was the only one in his universe. Fireworks that would rival Sydney’s New …

3 Causes of Self-Doubt and How to Conquer It for Good

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~Unknown

Self-doubt and I are old friends. We go way back, to early childhood.

Now, if you ask me, I will honestly tell you that I had quite an idyllic childhood in a loving home.

My parents raised us—my brother and me—to trust in our abilities and aim for the stars. They held me when I failed or fell flat on my face, which I did quite often, encouraging me to stand up and keep walking again. And yes, self-doubt still made its way into …

How Your Ego Thrives on Fear and Keeps You Panicked

“The ego is the false self—born out of fear and defensiveness.” ~John O’Donohue

“The soul is like a wild animal—tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy.” ~Parker Palmer

Does it sometimes seem like the world is just a little too much for you? Do you feel that you need to protect yourself from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? (Thank you, Hamlet.) Are you a fragile flower being buffeted by life’s storms?

Then I think you’ve been listening to your ego too much. I understand all of those feelings very well, but I’ve recently discovered something life-changing

Healing from Childhood Abuse: Get Help and Take Your Life Back

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“No one loses their innocence. It is either taken or given away willingly.” ~Tiffany Madison

Childhood innocence. When I think of it I always picture a baby lying on their back, playing with their feet. They are laughing, cooing, smiling, and lost in a sense of wonder. Full of joy, love, curiosity, and awe. When you look at them you can’t help but smile, and their joy and laughter are infectious. At this moment, they are perfect.

Now have all that taken …

How Defensive Pessimism Can Help Ease Your Worries

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.” ~Corrie Ten Boom

You know if you’re a worrier.

You worry about all kinds of negative things happening, without any evidence that they’re likely to happen.

I’m a recovering worrier.

It’s only been in the last few years that I’ve become conscious of the extent of my worry and the impact it has on me, and of how ineffective it is.

My worry paralyzes me, making it hard to think, plan, or act.

But, as anyone who is prone to worry knows, worry can feel …

What to Do When Someone You Love Is Sick and Struggling

“Love is not what you say. Love is what you do.” ~Unknown

As a graduate student in public health, I spent my days talking about illness and death. Normal lunchtime conversations among students covered topics like: how to define a case of multiple sclerosis, the most effective strategy to stop HIV transmission among injection drug users, and the probability you’d be alive in five years after a breast cancer diagnosis.

None of this talk about illness remotely prepared me for the experience of illness. I was blissfully naive when I started dating a man named Evan with a cough …

5 Things I Wish I Did When Dating an Addict

“Don’t let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace.” ~Kimberly Jones

I was finally in a solid place when I met my now-ex-boyfriend earlier this year. I had created some healthy habits for myself and was fully recovered from the eating disorder that had ruled my life for eight years prior.

Things had turned around completely for me, as now I was getting my first novel published and had a flourishing greeting card line.

When I first met my ex, who I’ll call Alex, it was love at first sight. I was completely infatuated with this …

5 Life-Changing Realizations About Fear and Anxiety

“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” – Isabel Allende

I was lying on the sofa in my tiny flat in Vienna.

My feet were elevated on a cushion and the room was spinning in a brisk waltz around me. My stomach was cramping and cold sweat was trickling down my spine. I gasped for air whenever choking fear forced my racing heart to skip a couple of beats.

The situation was all too familiar.

Back then I suffered from generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety. I was also plagued

Surviving Loss: You Always Have Choice

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” ~Stephen Covey

One ordinary night after an ordinary day of work and family, I went to bed a mother, wife, teacher, writer-person.

I remember falling asleep between sentences exchanged with my husband after an evening spent with just the two of us on our patio, something we rarely seemed to find the time to do in our busy lives. We promised each other that we’d make a concerted effort to have more of these “dates.”

The next morning, on what was supposed to be another …

Emotional Pain Doesn’t Go Away When You Numb It (with Alcohol or Anything Else)

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“Making a big life change is pretty scary. But know what’s even scarier? Regret.” ~Zig Ziglar

It had been a long day at work. I’d had to work with new people, which always got my anxiety going, and had to put out a few fires. By the end of the day, I climbed into my car shaking on the outside and screaming on the inside. Sounds, light, and smells were like battering rams to my senses and my internal pressure was reaching explosive levels.

I had a prearranged dinner with my mom and sister at a local restaurant, …

The Two Biggest Mistakes Newly Single People Make

“Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other.” ~Russ von Hoelscher

If you’re single right now, this is your moment. And by single I mean not dating, not sleeping with people, and not engaged in romantic mingling of any kind. I mean truly single.

When we’re truly single we have a chance to transform like never before. We have the opportunity to face into our pain, transmute it, and turn our heartbreak into our greatest lesson.

Two of …

Getting to Know Yourself: 5 Ways to Discover Your Joyful True Nature

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ~Aristotle

Four years ago I left a corporate career, belongings, a nice home, and family and friends, ejecting myself from the outer world and fiercely diving into an inner journey.

Jumping into the deep end of the pool—an inner terrain I was wildly unfamiliar with, having been very oriented to the outer world—has been quite the adventure.

I wasn’t totally sure what I would be looking for (myself possibly?), but something about the way I had been living my daily life, with angst in the backdrop, told me that this was …

When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Past Relationships

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat- Zinn

Over the years I’ve talked to a lot of people about that one love, the one who got away, the one who it didn’t work out with, the one with whom the timing was bad.

I’ve had these conversations with people from all age groups, including people in their seventies. I’ve had my own journey with all of the above as I traveled toward finding a life partner.

It seems whether you stay together or not you’ll likely be in each other’s minds for quite some …

How to Start Loving the Parts of Yourself You Don’t Like

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

The sun was breaking into my living room as I was sitting at my dining table, viewing a video that I had just recorded for my Facebook group. It was the first one I took, two minutes long, and there were ten more waiting to be recorded.

I had just pressed the play button to see how I look and sounded, and boy, was I in for a surprise.

I kid you not, I felt like I …

Just because you can’t see it clearly now, that doesn’t mean things won’t work out for you. Keep going and trust in yourself. This may or may not pan out as you hoped it would, but it’s worth the risk. And no matter what happens, you can handle it, and you will be just fine.

Why No One Needs “Fixing” or Wants Unsolicited Advice

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’re lost.” ~Dalai Lama

Have you ever felt the urge to fix someone? And by fix I mean observe their circumstances and tell them what you think they’re doing wrong and exactly how you think they should fix it?

We’ve all done it. We’re all guilty.

Especially with close friends or family.

“If he would only listen to me and do what I say then everything would work out just fine!”

Sound familiar?

I was having tea with a good friend the …