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Search Results for "gratitude" — 798 posts

Becoming More Authentic: Accept Yourself and Forget Approval

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“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings

For most of my life, I was a chameleon. I stayed under the radar, hoping I’d blend in and not draw attention to myself. I was full of self-doubt, so I molded my personality and beliefs based on my company. I traded my authentic self for the security of being liked by my family and friends because of my fear of being judged.

By suppressing my opinions, I was perceived as easygoing, but at what cost? I disrespected myself by allowing others to influence major …

Imperfection Is Lovable and You Are Enough

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“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown

We are all perfectly imperfect just as we are.

Yes, it’s true. Sometimes hard to believe, but always the truth. Believe me.

I’ve always recognized that I am a perfectionist.

I was the little girl who wanted to know how to play the piano at my first lesson, how to roller blade the first time I tried, how to do the splits at my first gymnastics class.

I’ve always wanted to do it right the first time.

On the one hand, I appreciate …

After Tragedy: 3 Reasons And 21 Ways to Find Joy Again

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“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~Bernice Johnson Reagon

My brother died suddenly, at just thirty-nine years old. One moment he was in the midst of a regular working day. Half an hour later he was gone. Twenty-four hours later he was buried.

With things happening so fast, I found myself alternating between paralysis and intense waves of pain, anger, guilt, sorrow, and devastation. I guess we all felt this way. Only it didn’t quite look like we all did/

In between waves of sadness and silence, my brother’s …

Don’t Let Anyone or Anything Dim Your Inner Light

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“The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.” ~Shakti Gawain

I was born with it. I know I was. There was a light within me that showed in my smile, my dancing around the house, my love for life, for friends, for family, and my bright future.

I don’t remember the exact day it happened, I don’t remember the last event that did it, but my inner light went out. I was no longer the happy-go-lucky girl I once was; I became lost in an abyss of darkness and sadness. Happiness …

Tragedy Can Help Us Find Our Life’s Purpose

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“Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose. The eye sheds a tear to find its focus.” ~Robert Brault

Just over two decades ago, I happened to be planted in the Midwest. Chicago. The southside to be exact. A location once recognized as a haven for successful black people handling their business while their kids frolicked throughout the streets, making up secret handshakes, basking in the sun and enjoying their youth.

And then, as the years progressed, things began to change; our haven was becoming less safe.

As if a nebulous cloud began to form over our neighborhood with a …

4 Lessons on Surviving and Thriving When Times Are Tough

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“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.” ~Unknown

Five months ago, I was sitting outside with a friend when a mosquito bit me under the arm. I went to scratch the bite and felt a lump on the side of my breast. My doctor sent me for a mammogram, ultrasound, and fine needle biopsy. I had breast cancer.

I am a 44-year-old single mother of two beautiful young girls with primary custody. I am also Director of a psychology practice and self-employed.

The day I was diagnosed was the day I lost the carefully …

Who to Fall in Love with First: 6 Ways to Love Yourself

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“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

Most of us are so busy waiting for someone to love us that we’ve forgotten about the one person we need to love first—ourselves.

Ironically, it was when my ten-year marriage fizzled that I began the innermost process of self-discovery about love.

While discouraged and saddened at the crumbling of our relationship, I began to explore love more. How had it fizzled? Why had we stopped loving each other, and what had happened to …

Slow Down and Fully Enjoy This Moment

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“Don’t miss all the beautiful colors of the rainbow looking for that pot of gold.” ~Unknown

Have you noticed that time seems to go by faster as you get older? Holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries all come and go—and before we know it, here they come again.

One theory neuroscientists have is that when we are young we have more novel experiences. These novel experiences create more vivid memories. As we age, we have less “new” or “first time” experiences. There are no unique memories to stand out.

We can also look at it another way. When we’re doing something new, …

Being Mindful and Releasing Worries: 5 Tips for Living in the Present

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“The next message you need is always right where you are.” ~Ram Das 

I try to exercise mindfulness in all things. Nowhere has this been as important for me as in my relationships.

I try to remember that I am not the same person I was as a child. People in any family play different roles at different times.

It’s been heartening to see myself, formerly a frequent recipient of unwanted advice, in a position of sharing the wisdom of my experience and being a conscious example of what I recommend.

I am a younger sister. I am fifty-six years …

Knowing Better and Doing Better: How Are You Fortunate?

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“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.” ~Hausa Proverb

Gratitude, the level of gratitude that one has, varies greatly by person. You have those that are grateful for every single thing in their lives, and those that know what the word means on paper yet never practice it in their own lives.

Then you have so many others (like myself), I call them the “in-betweeners.” We are grateful for so much but often forget this because life takes over, or so many other things are going on at once that you barely have five minutes to …

3 Unconventional Tips for Forgiving and Letting Go

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“The greatest obstacle to connecting with our joy is resentment.” ~Pema Chodron

Forgiveness is good, right? I don’t mean in a heal the planet kind of way—I mean in a selfish, me me me kind of way.

We want to let go of our resentments and connect with people genuinely. We want to feel happy and contented, full of love for ourselves and those around us. We want to run, carefree, through the fields in a pretty cotton dress, not sit around in our pajamas, twisted with bitterness.

But how do you experience genuine forgiveness and stop feeling resentful? Because …

Slow Down: Join the Stillness Revolution for More Peace and Joy

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“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

I recently treated myself to a retreat in the mountains, with the intention of pulling out of the busyness of every day life so that I could spend time healing and in reflective writing.

Setting off, I anticipated an easy drive as traffic looked light, but when I reached the mountain pass, I experienced something I had never experienced before:

I was completely blind to my surroundings.

In fact, I realized I had driven into the clouds themselves, engulfed by a pure white energy.

Not fog. Not mist. Just

…

Why We Sometimes Enjoy Pity and How to Stop

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“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” ~Mark Twain

When I was younger, I remember occasionally hurting myself while playing outside.

If I rolled my ankle, I might fall to the ground clutching it, but not feel too bad overall. Then, when someone from my family or a friend would run up to me and see if I was okay, I’d start getting choked up.

At the time, this confused me and made me even more upset. Why could I not control myself?

I experienced a lot of self-pity, because I felt like I was weak and could …

A 4-Step Plan to Deal with Even the Toughest Challenge

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“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” ~Wayne Dyer

Everything in life is perception. How you perceive life depends on the things and people that have influenced you: school, society, friends, family, TV. So, you may think something is bad or good, but in reality it is neither. You were taught to perceive it the way you do.

One person might see money as the root of all evil, while another might see it as something wonderful that can be used to help others and create opportunities. Two different perceptions of …

When Love Is Not Enough: 4 Tips for a Strong Relationship

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“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together.” ~JnK Davis

My husband and I were going through a difficult time a few years ago. It felt like a pivotal time in our relationship. People say that marriage isn’t easy and you have your ups and downs. Well, we were definitely experiencing a low point.

We had been together for several years; we had been high school sweethearts and were each other’s best friends.

During this time we had several issues going on in our life, one of which was my …

Is Optimism Hard-Wired? 6 Ways to See the Glass as Half Full

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“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit

My best friend called me on the phone last night. Of course, it’s not unusual to get a call from your best friend. But this call was one that really got me thinking about myself and the way I view life.

Kent has been my best friend since we were eleven years old. We met during summer camp the year after his dad died. We didn’t even like each other at first, as he was a tall, gangly geek …

Releasing Resentment: Who You’re Really Angry With and Why

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“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~Malachy McCourt

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

I didn’t particularly want to kiss him, but it had been a benign first date, and I didn’t know how to say no without hurting his feelings.

We were standing by my car in broad daylight, and what could be the harm, right? So I rather unenthusiastically nodded my head.

He, on the other hand, was quite enthusiastic, more than I was prepared for.

As he leaned in, I closed my eyes and endured the kiss, which most definitely …

Find Peace Today: Stop Worrying About What You Might Lose

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“The whole life of a man is but a point in time; let us enjoy it.” ~ Plutarch

Take a moment to think about the last time you stared up into a clear night sky, one that was gorged with stars and seemed to go on forever—one where the longer you stared, the more depth appeared.

How did you feel in that moment? Did you feel calm? Scared? Alone? Completely content? Did you wish you could stay in that moment forever?

Skies like that give me an incredible sense of peace and remind me to breathe deeply and contemplate how …

Use Your Heart as a Wall: Make It Stronger Instead of Shutting Down

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“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown

“I’m done here. It’s time for me to move on,” she spoke softly as if unsure herself. For a moment, I swore she said “I’m not done here,” but she didn’t. She was leaving me.

The poison in the words numbed my body and my soul. All of a sudden, there seemed to be a big hole where my heart used to be.

Survival mode kicked in and I started protecting that “empty” space. For me, it was isolating myself from social situations, even work. I sunk …

Start Believing in Yourself: How To Adopt A Language of Love

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“Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.” ~Unknown

We are powerful, vivacious, brilliant creatures. Our thoughts and ideas create the very world around us. We constantly, and often unconsciously, exude and radiate palpable energy that permeates through every crack and crevasse of our lives.

Our words hold especially powerful energy and the ability to uplift and inspire others and ourselves, or send us spiraling down the ladder to Bummersville. Learning to recognize our inner Negative Nancy allows us to pump up the volume on our love lingo to bring us back to a place of …