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Search Results for "inner child" — 726 posts

Why My Boyfriend and I Play Like Kids and Are Happier for It

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“Play is the foundation of learning, creativity, self-expression, and constructive problem-solving. It’s how children wrestle with life to make it meaningful.” ~Susan Linn, Psychiatrist

We met at a job interview for a summer camp. At the time, I was twenty-two years old and pursuing a bachelor’s degree in English literature and psychology at UBC. On the other hand, H was attending college in the hopes of one day becoming a high school history teacher. He also “liked to promote and support the development of children.”

During our first date, we grabbed coffee and spent some time at Indigo …

How I Stopped Chasing Men Who Hurt Me and Found Healthy Love

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“There are two things you should never waste your time on: things that don’t matter and people who think that you don’t matter.” ~Ziad K. Abdelnour  

“What is wrong with me?” I asked myself. Crying in the dark of the night. “Why doesn’t he love me?”

I’d tried to fold myself in all the ways I could to be loved and accepted, but it was never enough. I found myself repeating patterns of chasing men who just didn’t want me. Same cry in the night, different men.

The more I chased them, the more they ran away, and the deeper …

Confessions of an Extrovert: Why I Now Love My Alone Time

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“Allow yourself to grow and change. Your future self is waiting.” -Unknown

Not to be dramatic, but I really mean it when I say that solitude changed my life. I am an extrovert who loves humans, socializing, and learning from people and experiences. I’ve always enjoyed being around others, and don’t get me wrong, I still thrive this way. But when I got Covid in 2021, life completely changed, and it’s not the only way I thrive now.

Before Covid, I’d been living my life in a way that wasn’t serving me. I was partying a lot, not eating …

My Mother’s Abuse and the Two Things That Have Helped Me Heal

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“I love when people that have been through hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire.” ~Stephanie Sparkles

I have a tattoo on my back of Charles Bukowski’s quote “What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” It spoke to me as I had been walking, often crawling, through a fire for much of my life.

At times, I took different paths, skipping through fields of flowers, but eventually I would find my way back to what I knew, which gave me a strange sense of comfort—the fire …

Why It’s Worth the Temporary Discomfort of Sitting with Intense Emotions

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“Whatever you’re feeling, it will eventually pass.”  ~Lori Deschene

Can you feel an intense emotion, like anger, without acting on it, reacting to it, or trying to get rid of it?

Can you feel such an intense emotion without needing to justify or explain it—or needing to find someone or something to blame it on?

After successfully dodging it for two years, I recently caught Covid-19. The physical symptoms were utter misery. But something much more interesting happened while I was unwell.

The whole experience brought some intense emotions to the surface. Namely seething anger about something that had …

How I Stopped Feeling Sorry for Myself and Shifted from Victim to Survivor

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“When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.” ~Brené Brown

There was a time when I felt really sorry for myself. I had good reason to be. My life had been grim. There had been so much tragedy in my life from a young age. I had lost all my grandparents young, lived in a home with alcoholism and domestic abuse, and to top it all off, my dad killed himself.

I could write you a long list of how life did me wrong. I threw myself …

Rethinking Masculinity: Why I Want More Than Bachelor Parties and Football

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“Patriarchy is the expression of the immature masculine. It is the expression of Boy psychology, and, in part, the shadow—or crazy—side of masculinity. It expresses the stunted masculine, fixated at immature levels.” ~ Robert Moore & Doug Gillette

Seventy eggs, packs of bacon, and multiple types of beer filled the fridge. On the counter lay handles of liquor and energy drinks. The dining table was lined with snacks galore: chips, Cheese-its, popcorn, Oreos, Doritos, and dozens of Fireball nips.

I’ve been to many bachelor parties, and it’s not surprising that health is never a priority. Yet this time, things felt …

Disordered Eating: What We Need to Understand and How to Heal

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“Food can distract you from your pain but food cannot take away your pain.” ~Karen Salmansohn

Long before I was watching The Biggest Loser (a popular weight loss reality TV series) and trying to look like a swimsuit model, I was hiding in my closet eating candy, fiercely addicted to sugar.

I remember feeling completely out of control over my cravings for all things sweet, and I didn’t know how to stop myself from eating until I felt sick. Food played a bigger role in my life than simply to support the processes in my body that lead to optimal …

Ending My Toxic Relationship with My Mother Was an Act of Self-Love

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“It’s okay to let go of those who couldn’t love you. Those who didn’t know how to. Those who failed to even try. It’s okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead. You’re outgrowing them because you’re growing into you. And that’s more than okay, that’s something to celebrate.” ~Angelica Moone

I was taught to love my family and to just accept the love they give. With the passage of time and the dawning of maturity, I began to doubt this kind of unquestioning love. The chronic emotional and mental stress …

Why I Felt Broken and Unworthy of Love and What Changed Everything

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“How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” ~Paulo Coelho

He used to tell me no one else would love me because I’m damaged goods.

And I believed him.

Because I received messages for most of my life that there was something wrong with me.

I wasn’t good enough. Too sensitive. Too weak. Too sickly. Too different.

I realize now those messages were passed on to me by concerned parents who saw in me parts of themselves they didn’t fully accept.

And those messages were from parents whose own parents had used criticism …

Why I Couldn’t Find Love and What Helped Me (That Might Help You Too)

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“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start from where you are and change the end.” ~C.S. Lewis 

It was a dark January day in 2008 when my auntie called with the news “He did it.”

I felt so confused. “Did he try? Or did he succeed?” I asked as my body moved into shock.

“He succeeded,” she said. And in that moment my whole life changed.

This was a moment I often wished for—my dad was gone.

Dad had taken his life on January 8th, 2008, two days after my twenty-sixth birthday. He …

The Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself If You Want to Be More Authentic

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“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

Have you ever just wanted to relax, let go, and let yourself be?

Why is this so challenging for so many? Why don’t we just live naturally and allow our authenticity to be felt, expressed, and seen?

Well, when many of us were little, being authentic was not okay, so we focused on trying to do things the “right way” according to what others had to say, because our survival was at stake. The more we did …

What Creates Anxiety and How We Can Heal and Ease Our Pain

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“Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need, rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.” ~Ashleigh Warner

Do you ever wonder what creates anxiety and why so many people are anxious?

Anxiety doesn’t just come from a thought we’re thinking, it comes from inside our body—from our internal patterning, where unresolved trauma, deep shame, and painful experiences are still “running.”

It often comes from false underlying beliefs that say, “Something’s wrong with me, I’m flawed, I’m bad, …

The Fascinating Reason We Sabotage Ourselves and Hold Ourselves Back

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“Sometimes we self-sabotage just when things seem to be going smoothly. Perhaps this is a way to express our fear about whether it is okay for us to have a better life.” ~Maureen Brady

Have you ever decided to try something new—like getting into a new relationship or doing something that would help you experience success in your career/mission or offer you more vibrant health and well-being—and you were able to follow through for a bit, but then you stopped? Was this self-sabotage? Was it procrastination?

Did you know that self-sabotage and procrastination can be survival mechanisms, and …

How Singles Can Come Out Stronger After the Pandemic

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“Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.” ~Jamais Cascio

The pandemic has forced us to avoid people, self-isolate, and keep to ourselves.

It might seem like you’re in a position where you don’t have many options. You can’t freely hang out with your friends. You can’t have fun like you used to. Your dating and socializing opportunities are limited. These setbacks can bring to the fore feelings of loneliness, deepen the longing for relationships, and highlight your innate desire for connection.

I know how easy …

4 Ways to Overcome Alienation and Loneliness

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“What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” ~Kurt Vonnegut

Have you ever felt like a stranger in your own life? Watching other people like you were separated by some invisible wall?

Most of us have felt it from time to time and understand all too well how detrimental loneliness can be if it doesn’t go away. In fact, research has shown that loneliness is worse than smoking or obesity to a person’s health.

Yet we …

If You Think There’s Something Wrong with You…

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The root cause of suffering for many of us is believing that there’s something’s wrong with us. Psychiatrists’ and therapists’ offices are filled with people who are carrying this false belief, most often stemming from traumatic or painful childhood experiences, or even people telling us this directly.

Sometimes we inferred this idea because we were treated badly as children and/or we didn’t get our physical or emotional needs met. Perhaps we were called selfish or bad because we “asked for too much,” or we were told we couldn’t have what we wanted because we didn’t “earn or deserve it.”

Maybe …

How to Heal from Gaslighting and Stop Hurting Yourself

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“Gaslighting by parents can extend way into adulthood, but it may have particularly harmed you during your childhood. Children need to learn to trust themselves, and when they’re taught that what they see, hear, or feel isn’t real, that can lead to a lifetime of self-doubt.” ~Suzannah Weiss

Some of us grew up in families where our feelings and what we were experiencing were denied or pushed aside, what some people call “gaslighting.”

What is that? When someone—often our caregivers/parents—sows seeds of doubt in our minds that make us question our own sense of personal truth and reality.…

Free Online Summit to Cultivate Mindfulness and Compassion

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Hi friends! As you may know, I’m always excited to share free events that can help us heal, find peace, and learn to meet each other with more patience, kindness, and compassion.

And I’m particularly passionate about mindfulness. The more present-moment awareness foster, the better we’re able to cope with our own sometimes-overwhelming emotions and the chaos in the world around us.

For this reason, I’m thrilled to invite you to upcoming online summit In the Footsteps of Thich Nhat Hanh.

Thich Nhat Hanh has touched the hearts of millions with his message of peace, non-violence, and kindness. From …

How My Fear of the Unknown Sabotages Relationships

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“Let go of the need to control the outcome. Trust the process. Trust your intuition. Trust yourself.” ~Unknown

I was talking with a friend one day at work, and we were discussing dating and the rejection that comes with that and the sense of failure and disappointment.

We were talking about how we struggle to even get close to dating someone because we get in our own way, and our thoughts stop us from moving forward because we’re scared. We’re scared, so we blow the situation up with our inability to sit with the uneasiness of not knowing what the …