Dear Ravi:

You are in a tough situation and I am concerned for you. Let’s separate the different issues:

1) Studies: are you interested in becoming a medical doctor and pursuing this career? If so, yes, you will need to study for the May exams.

2) Your relationship with Jerry is on a break, temporary at the least. Best if you put it aside if you can, simply because there is nothing you can do about it. You can’t make Jerry contact you, nor do I believe that she should.

3) It is difficult to see reality for what it is, including seeing the values your mother holds and practices. She has this tunnel vision: studies, a respectable career is all that matters. And at the same time she is holding this value, her very behavior defeats her own (!) value. With her behavior she is acting against her own desire to have a doctor son.

* Take some time out to relax and focus. If you do want #1 above, for your own purposes, then you should focus on it now. Not for your mother’s sake, but for your own.

And in doing so, you may need to put aside for now, until the big testing, all other issues.

Including the issues you can do nothing about no matter how strongly you feel about them. You can’t will Jerry to contact you no matter how strongly you want her to.

What do you think?

anita