Dear littlemisshoney:

I re-read your original post and your last one. In the original you wrote that something is wrong. You also wrote: ” I cannot see us getting married. More to the point, I cannot see us growing old together. I look back at photos of us and I struggle to think of good times, that sounds awful doesn’t it. I sometimes wonder if it is me with the problem.”

In the second post you wrote that your parents were never very happy together and that you knew that as a child.

I think that the line right above indicates what it is that is wrong in your current relationship on your part. When you wonder sometimes if it is you with the problem, you are 50% correct. You own part of the problem in the relationship, something you bring into it from your own childhood.

Your not-knowing and hesitancy, and things just happening in your relationship indicates to me that you are troubled by the relationship between your parents still. That you carry with you distrust in the reliability of a relationship with a man, a distrust you carry from your childhood.

Your boyfriend and you are carrying injuries from childhood, different kinds but injuries they are nonetheless. Your relationship is an opportunity for him to keep healing from his injuries as he is engaged in doing. Get more involved with his healing so to support his process. And at the same time get engaged in your own healing and have him be involved in it. That way you will get closer to each other, helping each other.

Take it from there.

anita