it’s okay, thanks for helping anita;) i am researching on plants and maps. i used to go camping when i was little, so i know about shelter and i love medical things so i know first aid, but it wouldn’t hurt to practice them more. i think it would be fun to go to vancouver island, canada; vermont or california wilderness. i like the forest for it’s beauty and its peace and there is a lot of wildlife. unlike mccandless, i’m not much interested in alaska since it seems mostly ice and want to be somewhere where it can be cold and have ice, but there will also be beautiful sunsets and rivers and trees instead of just whiteness. i think i might climb some small canyons in utah. i think i would also like to visit walden pond (massachusetts) where thoreau lived. i think walden pond is a good starting point. i am so tired of listening to my parents criticize me about school. they keep telling me that most people have applied to college by now and i won’t have time to make it in and they keep pressuring me to take the sats when i’m not ready yet. the constant pressure makes me more annoyed and oftentimes makes me do worse in school than it makes me do better. i enjoy school and learning and enjoy getting good grades and my gpa is around 95.5, but i also have to have time for fun as well. i enjoy running in track and also throwing shot put. i am thinking of taking the sats again in june and preparing for the two ap tests (english and history) in may 11 and 12. i have finished reading the survival book by Mykel Hawkes and i think i might practice some of the techniques. this weekend i am going to focus on preparing for the pre-calc quiz tues, physics honors quiz, ap english test and ap world history test on wednesday. also the first meeting of self-defense starts on monday, i can’t wait it’s going to be so much fun;) ever since i’ve been meditating, my mind is able to remember things quite quickly and i can focus and tune out distractions. when the atmosphere gets stressful, i can wrap myself in a positive bubble of light and tune out negative energies. last night, i had a dream about the buddha. i had a dream that i was out in the woods and i had been injured and near-death. i saw my body become an orb of light and i rose on a cloud. i was floating on the cloud and i was wondering where i was and despairing that i was lost. then after a few minutes of floating, i came upon a cloud and there was buddha sitting upon it. i told buddha that i was thinking of giving all of myself up for spiritual fulfillment and then helping others find it as well. i asked him how i might become more spiritually enlightened. the buddha told me to make peace within myself, to not be so criticizing of myself and to be patient, that the parts of me were healing. we floated for a while and i observed the wilderness underneath me and i realized that my purpose was to be out in nature to learn its beauty and teach others how to be more spiritually fulfilled. the buddha wrapped up in his arms and told me that it didn’t matter what happened, i would always have divine love. i felt a warmth and a white light surrounding me and i felt myself, all my doubts and insecurities melt away. i felt myself merge with the sky, to become part of it and i wasn’t afraid that i was losing my physical body, i was at peace as the angel wings carried me to the stars to the heavens. whatever road i take, i will always be lead home.

it’s thunderstorm right now and i love thunderstorms, the static energy in the air is really cool. i was having fun calculating the speed of the storm by counting the lightning and dividing the seconds by five to see how far the storm was.