Dear Cath:

Reality is lots of people hurt people. Mothers do, fathers do, CEOs do, politicians do, other criminals do, strangers do, relatives do. All you can do is remove yourself from people who hurt you and insist on being selective about who you choose to spend time with and most importantly, be selective about who you choose to live with.

Just because she is your mother doesn’t mean- and as you know, it does not mean- that she is right for you to live with or spend your time with.

Nobody should get access to you except for who you deem to be safe for you, kind and respectful to you.

It is sad, we adult children keep hoping and waiting and hoping and waiting for a mother to be loving, for someone unloving to change and be loving… when our chance to find love is …

somewhere else, with someone else, not with who already proved to be unloving to us.

anita