Dear Trevor:

I don’t think you are selfish or creepy for being attracted to teenage girls while you are 23. I don’t think anyone is creepy for anything at all that they feel. It is certain behaviors, not feelings, but behaviors that are creepy.

It is understandable you are attracted to teenage girls because your very last relationship was with a teenage girl while you yourself was a teenager. This relationship you had for 2.5 years was very intense for you, as you pointed out. You were very attached to your then girlfriend and depressed when the relationship was over. You were also very hurt that the Commitment aspect of the triangular way you view relationships wasn’t there on her part.

You are still hurting about her lack of commitment to you. so when you see (older) girls who are now serious but weren’t serious when they were younger, that triggers that hurt in you.

Your ex girlfriend, your very last girlfriend, was extremely meaningful in your life and left an intense imprint in your brain. And you didn’t have a relationship after high school. This is why you are on one hand still attracted to teenage girls and on the other hand, you are still hurting.

It all makes sense; nothing creepy, weird, or anything like that.

Did you attend psychotherapy to process this very meaningful relationship you had? Processing your feelings of that relationship ending can be very helpful to you.

anita