The attack happened just between those two posts, the latter being the one that drained me of all my energy. I do wonder how I would’ve reacted to those latter attacks had I been at full mental health when they happened.
I tend to rank years based on how good they were. 2012 was great – I graduated, had no money issues, continued my studies. 2013 was pretty good as well. 2014 I didn’t land a job, which cut into my school motivation and I was on a shurt fuse – you could tell by my posts on that forum becoming less considerate. Add to that the fact that I was just becoming interested about immigration and such and it was a disaster in the making because you really have to be careful with your words when it comes to this stuff. 2015 could’ve been great since I did get a job and moved out, but it ended up being my worst year yet due to this. 2016 is shaping up to be mediocre – if I finish my studies properly and land a job, that should up my mood quite a bit, but I’ll still be a far cry of my normal self. I plan on continuing straight to Master’s studies and by then I’d say I’ll be in good enough mental condition that my school performance won’t be terribly affected. Still, what an utterly pointless episode this has been. What could possibly be more important than your own mental health? Once you lose it, what do you have left? I keep telling my past self – you have precisely one responsiblity – keep yourself at strictly 100% mental capacity so that you can handle what life throws at you. That is nonnegotiable – you do not have permission to do anything that could endanger it.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 