Hi Anita,

I just cannot stop loving your posts, it is mind opening, and i totally agree with you, it is not how fast you run it how for how long you can keep running, an bu the way i ran another 4 miles today, and after the first 2 miles i stretched to remove the lactic acid from my mussels, and ran another 2 miles, and then do workouts and relaxation by yoga, i learned that yesterday from a guy i met running, it makes you able to go on. when am running i have to slow down, i have to think that if i did not i will not be able to run more, you slow down your pace and the increase it again, this is how i reach my goals now, i also use other methods to keep me going, i use hot water to remove the lactic acid from my body, i will use Jacuzzi, and i can have message also, all that can help, to keep me going, but at the end i have to rest my body, i have to take an off day.
but i have to be more truthful here am scared of slowing down, am scared if i do not run and walk for a long time, i will forget all about running, am scared if I slow down i will get used to it, it is not bad nor good, but am like it is not yet the time to slow down, it is not yet the time to be comfortable, I have been comfortable for years in my bed, where did that get me, may be that is why am seeking professional help, anther eye who sees me differently, who can open my mind to new ideas.
running is dangerous because you do not know your body, that why you get injuries, you do not get the messages that your body is sending you, i do get them, but i tend to push it hard a bit, i do not ignore them totally, i just delay the reaction a bit, am not saying am right or wrong, am saying that i want to stretch my skin as hard as i can, i do notice and look very hard for not cutting it.
I do not see it as a balance, as much as i see it as a state of equilibrium physically, mentally and spiritually. as long as i feel am in a state of equilibrium between these three elements am happy with my self, if any of the curves deviate, i have to reorganize stuff to reach the same state of equilibrium.
so i guess the question here is, am i able to reach that state of equilibrium all the time, the answer is no, the variables surrounding will keep changing and i cannot fight with them, can i realize the changes surrounding me? the answer is yes, can i regain that state of equilibrium again? the answer is yes.

just cannot stop admiring you endless care!
Ziad,