I have the feeling that you are suggesting something I cannot quite get, or you are just giving me some directions. But it is interesting analogy, and you are right. I was young, and I thought there was something wrong with my sexuality. Also there was the social pressure, in the eyes of people we were “the perfect couple” and my girlfriends were betting that I would marry before them. So if he didn’t find anything wrong and in the eyes of people we were a couple, then it’s just me. I needed to have many experiences before learning to acknowledge my inner reality, and still learning. Please do not confuse this with conformism, I was just so unaware of myself back then. To me the human design system explained a lot of this unawareness of my inner reality and my focus on “the other” as a projector. Myself, I, this was like a blind spot to me. This is neither altruism nor dependency as I am a well structured being taking full responsibility of myself since too early actually. It is something like always assuming the role of observer and not feel your own presence.
And in contrast, his brother being interested in hearing my own voice and thoughts, he did recognize me. What a strange situation. Another secret that I had back then, is that one of the reasons I was stopping myself every time I thought of ending this relationship, was that I didn’t want to lose the chances to keep in touch with his brother. I just wanted to be around him, I would rarely initiate any interaction with him, there was no need, his presence was very charismatic and could be felt from distance, plus he always noticed and acknowledged me. OK maybe this story is becoming way too awkward :))