Dear Sapnap3:

You didn’t mention your mother. Is she alive and are you in a relationship with her?

Regarding unconditional love of a child to a parent: a child has no choice but to pursue the parent for food and safety, true to other mammals as well. But as an adult, one has the choice because you can find food and safety on your own (and with the help of other adults, like your boyfriend). As an adult, if the parent still abuses you, verbally let’s say, there is nothing beautiful in keeping that relationship going. As in your relationship with your boyfriend, you keep evaluating if it is still a Win for you (Win-Win relationships with anyone is the thing to aim for).

Aiming at Win-Win relationships instead of Unconditional Love relationships, what do you think?

anita