Dear Ravi:

I was thinking about you, was going to send you a message asking how you are doing.

Congratulations for the two tests. You studied hard and you do have the intellectual capability to do well on the May 17 test.

This conversation happened only two days ago, well I will comment about it since it is a recent happening. Like I wrote to you last (before I stopped writing about her), it was not your abusive anger expressions that caused her to back off from you. It was your boyfriend/girlfriend kind feelings that caused her to back off from you.

All the time we talked about your anger, it was not the issue for her all along. It is still mind boggling to me that you and I have been directing the light on your anger when it was not the issue for her!

In your part of the conversation above, you said all the right things, your performance in that conversation was well done.

I don’t know why Jerry treats your loving feelings for her as if it was a crime. Now that it is more clear to me what is that bothers her so much, now I know that you are NOT responsible for the (online) breakup with Jerry. Working on your anger is very important still, of course, but it was not what caused the breakup. Is that a relief for you, to realize now that it was not your doing after all? That you did not cause the breakup?

I hope so. I hope it is a relief for you. It was not your angry behaviors for which you are responsible that caused the breakup. It was her choice regarding your loving feelings for her, and for your feelings you are not responsible.

And you are correct: you loving her is not a crime, for crying out loud!

Now, no more discussions about her on my part unless there are more conversations and I hope there will not be, at least not before the big testing. Please focus on what is useful for you to focus on.

anita