Dear shauck11:

Your conclusion makes sense to me: there is a shared responsibility for what happened. The ex boyfriend carries responsibility for his actions, the individuals in the group carry responsibility for their individual actions and you carry your share of responsibility. No clear villains, no clear victims.

I admire you for doing this work. It takes honesty and courage to examine one own participation in situations created. I was taught this: I am responsible for my participation in every interaction, not for others’, just for my own. It is a relief to be able to figure who is accountable for what.

Please do post anytime. It is my pleasure to be part of your again… admirable work.

anita