Hi Matty
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and respond to it with such depth.
Your reply really got me thinking about what it is I want the reasons behind my feelings.
A lot of what you say rings true, I am worried that I will never find someone else and more than anything in the world right now, I just want to have my own family. I always knew that, but after falling pregnant and then suffering a loss, it has just amplified that
feeling of wanting to have a child
of my own. I do try to tell myself that things could be a lot worse and that my SO is a good person and I should count myself lucky. I always see the good in people and situations, and it’s very hard for me to have a non-emotional view on whether this is the right thing for me right now.
I do feel guilty even thinking about leaving… I guess because he never seems to reflect the doubts that I have and he always tell me that he wouldn’t be able to live without me.
I am also scared about the prospect of ‘starting over’.
I am planning to take some time away just to have the opportunity to try and see things through a clearer lens… I am working my way towards talking to him about this.
Thank you again for your time and words x