Hi Anita,

As promised here’s my update!

After writing the above post I started trying to work some of the tips you and Art mentioned into my daily life. I’ve bolded both of your helpful pieces of advice in the below paragraphs. It’s long like my other posts though =)

I decided to first learn about myself by getting out into the world. I decided to travel to Japan alone. It’d been a dream of mine for years. Against my family’s protests I decided to take the plunge into solo travel. I got out of my comfort zone and learned a lot about myself in the process. I did things I thought I’d never be capable of doing. I climbed a small mountain, spoke and understood Japanese, found my way around a foreign country, and loved a vacation I took by myself! This trip gave me the confidence boost I needed. I realized that I was capable of so much more than I thought I was. It was also nice to get out of the daily grind and have time to think. I didn’t want to go home! Once I did get home I realized, for sure, that the 9-5 model wasn’t for me. I felt completely myself in Japan, a country where no one looked like me and didn’t even speak my native language, but felt alienated at home working in a corporate culture. I knew that staying in such a toxic place was not good for my mental health and that life was too short to spend another minute doing something I hated. I decided to go with my intuition and quit my job in December. Taking time for myself was what I needed to clarify what I actually wanted in life. Immediately after quitting I was in a state of euphoria. A few days after I still felt great but I still had no idea what I was doing.

I figured I’d work towards my passions. I entered my first writing contest that same month. I didn’t win but it felt good to write again and to know that I was capable of even competing in a contest. I learned a lot from that first contest and I’m glad I had the courage to enter. If you remember from my original post I was a perfectionist and afraid of failure so this was big for me! That same week I started a blog to practice writing and to document my journey. I write blog posts every week and it helps me learn more about myself everyday. I did feel as though I needed to add some structure to this journey so I decided to set some short and long-term goals. In the beginning of the year, I posted 27 goals, one for each year of my life. Each month, I post an update on my progress in a blog post. Many of the goals are centered on my passions and posting them on my blog keeps me accountable. I’m doing a lot better than I expected. Seeing that I’m making progress gives me the confidence to continue work towards my goals. Considering previously I’d often quit things if I wasn’t immediately good at something or I was afraid of failing this was a big deal. My passion related goals are mainly about writing, photography, and traveling (Drawing is still on that list but I’ve discovered that it’s something I’m less interested in pursuing). I’m currently taking a writing class (My work is critiqued each week something I previously feared and avoided but now welcome), I write on my blog every week, and read books and articles online on how to improve my writing. I took a trip to Paris and London in January and headed to Morocco next month. I bought a DSLR camera, signed up for a contributor account on a stock photo site, printed my travel photos on canvas, reading books about photography, and I’m taking a monthly photography class. I also took up journaling to record my journey and document my feelings towards specific activities. It’s been helping me figure out what I enjoy the most and what I don’t particularly enjoy.

I did have to rid myself of an energy/motivation sucker. After a terrible experience with my best friend during my Paris/London trip I decided I no longer wanted to be part of her life. We returned back to the states and haven’t spoken to each other at all. It’d been a long time coming but I was trying to improve our friendship. I realized our hobbies and goals in life were incompatible. She was most focused on drinking, partying, and dating. I on the other hand was focused on improving myself so I felt I had outgrown the activities she enjoyed most. She berated me for not enjoying those activities anymore and made me feel bad about myself. I decided it was best for me and her to go our separate ways. She was one of the few people I had a connection with but it had become toxic for me to continue being friends with her.

I am still trying to find my “tribe” or anyone that I can truly feel connected with but have not found this as of yet. I feel, as though I might have this invisible wall up that doesn’t allow myself to form deep meaningful connections with other people. I find that I’m able to speak to strangers with ease and make friends easily but making a deeper connection with anyone other than my family has been a challenge. I have, however, been reading about positive people and others who have successfully found work they’re passionate about after floundering a bit. It’s inspirational and it gives me hope that I will definitely get there one day.

It’s been about 4 months since I quit my job. I’m currently getting my certificate to teach english abroad and trying to learn as much as I can about photography, writing, and about myself. I’m still anxious about my future and I do have days that I’m depressed. I struggle between self-confidence and self-doubt daily. I still wonder how I’ll support myself or get out of debt. And I’m still uncomfortable with uncertainty. But I do feel much better overall knowing I’m taking action towards building a life I love. It won’t be an easy road but I know it’ll be worth it in the long run.

Here are a few pieces of advice I offer others that are going through a similar circumstance:

1. Take constant action towards your goals. Eventually you will get where you want to be.
2. Learning is important. Learning a new skill or learning about yourself is extremely valuable.
3. Self-acceptance, self-confidence, and self-care is essential. This is your life. No one else has to live with the consequences of your decisions but you. If you realize that something that works for 99% of people doesn’t work for you; you need to accept that it does not have to work for you to be happy. Your definition of success may look totally different from your best friend and that’s fine! Believe that your version of success is 100% okay. And just ensure that you’re being patient with yourself. Change does not happen overnight. If you need a break take it.

Thank you again for listening! And if anyone else has any thoughts or advice please let me know.