Dear annema:

Well, he lied repeatedly and adamantly. He was not willing to work on his fear with you. You tried though and in so you did the right thing for the future of the relationship: you asked the right question. He had the opportunity to open up to you and let you help him, and he rejected this opportunity again and again.

There are all kinds of issues people can help each other with (and who doesn’t have issues?)- but he was unwilling and that made it impossible to proceed past his fear, is my guess.

anita