Dear Karene:

You always were alone, really, afraid and alone.

When you found your father’s extensive collection of pornographic magazines, when you were a teenager, you looked at all those photos of those naked women. Maybe you figured this is what gets your father’s attention and admiration. He didn’t pay attention to his daughter, but he sure paid attention to those strange women, obviously because of their attractive bodies.

So you focused on this one issue: the body- must be the body, it is all the body, must be attractive enough and then you will get the attention you need.

Your father didn’t pay attention to you because he wasn’t available or willing to do a good job as a parent. Same with your mother. They were not good enough parents. But as children do, you figured it was you who was not good enough.

And that it is your body. And then the guy at work had those women of his facebook with their glorious bodies, and the idea gets reinforced: it must be Karen’s body, the reason why the guy at work no longer pays attention to you.

While in reality, you were unfortunate to not have attentive parents and because of your anxiety, you don’t meet many people, or you are not available to meet loving people, so you still don’t have the attention that you need and needed all along.

The solution is not in getting an acceptable body, looks. You are already worthy of attention and love, you just didn’t come across a loving person yet, to be in a relationship with.

Are you following the points I am trying to make?

anita