Anita – another question for you. I’ve been thinking about why I need reassurance and/or base my self worth on my relationships (terrible I know!). Like I said before, I am a perfectionist. I always have been. I’m an only child and I think my parents probably put a lot of pressure on me to succeed. I remember one time in first grade crying because I didn’t win a ribbon for a project. I remember feeling like I should have won – that I deserved it. Now that I’m adult, I don’t cry over losing but I am competitive. I push myself and strive to always do the best. I hate making mistakes and I thrive when I am rewarded or acknowledged. I think I’m realizing that being single plays into this. I feel like I am failing because I am single and I hate failing.

I should say that I feel very independent. I have my own hobbies, a good job, I work out regularly, etc etc. There are many times when I am perfectly fine being single. But naturally, sometimes I don’t want to be single so when I meet someone I like I put a lot of pressure on it to work out. I base my self worth on whether they like me or if it works out. If it doesn’t I feel like I have failed at something (whether it was my fault or not). Does that make sense? How to I go about fixing this? Your advice to me earlier was very helpful.