Cath,

I live in a small town where there’s no place left for me to go. Every site/ place reminds me of her. To make things more hard she works in a different building at same workplace, there’s constant fear of seeing her and feeling shit throughout the day.

Yesterday, she wrote an email to me asking for my signature for rental bond. And I was back to square one, riding to emotional roller coaster ride. Went to volleyball which stopped ( as usual numbing pain won’t help) feeling bad but as soon as returned home, off to another ride. Then, so many dreams in night. And I am back to okay this morning.

To be with what is, so hard to do. Even though, I know intellectually it is the only thing I can do in this situation. Emotionally I am still falling flat. I don’t think I will come out unscathed from this.