You’re right. I don’t have to be okay with it or give him permission. I guess ultimately, I want to just not care about it anymore. It’s only been three weeks since we split, and we were together off and on for three years. I know it’s going to take both of us time to get over our break, but I want to be over this man and not think about him every day anymore. I’d love to not care who he is with. Today is hard because even though on Thursday he told me that he is not going to act on his feelings with this “friend” of mine, he went backpacking with a group of friends that included her. So I’ve been thinking all day, what am I going to find out?

I don’t want to ruminate. I want the day to come that for the first time, I don’t think about him at all. Right now he’s in my head from the minute I wake up until I go to sleep. It’s aggravating.