Dear loveleebabe:

As far as plan a, which is what you are doing now, living with the woman, you wrote in your original post: ” I also need to be here for her as she has diabetes and lots of anxiety/panic attacks. Also take care of our cats nd clean the house.” Well, seems to me like she needs you, more than the weekly rent. She needs you because she has diabetes and panic attacks… and cats and a house to clean.

Use her needing you to insist that she treats you with respect. Switch your view from it being you who are needy of her (and therefore tolerating her abuse) to her needing you, and therefore tell her exactly, specifically what she should not say and do if she wants you to keep helping her. You have leverage to use so to enforce being respected for as long as you are there.

anita