Maria,

Thank you for your response to my post. I had heard of twin flames before but never really read much about them – I don’t suppose you know of any good sites that can give me an accurate overview of what the term means?

Your reply was very helpful, thank you. And you’re right, great personal growth can come from pain. I was doing so well until now but I feel the anniversary of the breakup has put me back slightly. I do need to focus on being the love I never received when I was growing up and on seeing how I am loveable. It’s an issue I had way before he came into my life and one that I’ll always have unless I take this time to heal from the past properly, which is why I’m focusing on it.

It’s funny, even at the time I felt he had regressed when he went home. He turned into a shell of a person. He kept complaining about pressure but never actually telling me what the pressure was. He lashed out, became difficult to talk to. I lost all ability to reason with him and because I was also going through family trouble here at home I wasn’t at my best to deal with it. But it did feel like within weeks of him being back there he turned into someone else.

All in all, it’s an incredibly sad situation. I happened to see his wedding photos a few months back and the strangest part was, they didn’t upset me. I just couldn’t see any joy emanating from them like you see in some couples’ wedding photos. They looked…odd together. I always assumed that if I saw their wedding photos I’d go to pieces, but if anything it was just further proof that this isn’t what they tried to portray to be. Around what turned out to be time of the wedding, I had this vivid dream in which I was holding and consoling him while he told me he still loved me. I said I know and then woke up. I felt there was something more to this dream – it didn’t feel like ‘normal’ dreams. I guess I’ll never truly know if it meant anything, but at that time it felt prophetic almost.

And yet now I’m back to doubting everything again. I’m frustrated, but trying to ‘ride’ through the emotions in the hope I’ll start feeling better in a week or so.

Thanks again.