i love the feeling i get after i run around the neighborhood. at first their are thoughts in my head and after a few minutes into my run, there is a mental stillness as i just let myself be free, as i sprint and turn my face up to let the golden halo of the sun warm my face feeling how great it is to feel truly alive, to be as if i were in my soul and spirit. i want to be the person that is spiritually fulfilled and i don’t care about fame, being an extreme genius, or being extremely athletic. i have simply begun working on dropping the expectations of the world. i have a poem that i have written about the uncertainties and beauties of youth and the elderly, it is called Youth Reflections. i will post it soon, it is more of a self-reflection on my feelings and i try to express the doubts and insecurities i face while trying to maintain in spiritual balance. i also did a buddha meditation and asked the buddha about my limitations, it was very insightful and it helped bring more insight on why i am more of a spiritual love person than a physical love person. i think it is b/c i have been criticized and have criticized myself so much that there is a part of me that will become too attached to love when i find it b/c i feel as if i only have divine love with others and not the unconditional love and trust. yet the buddha told me that divine love is the purest form of love and that i was becoming an awakened being, that i was able to spread love soul to soul. i’ll post more on the meditation, but this meditation helped me a lot.