Hello Anita,

Thank you, I am feeling very free and happy about the estrangement (sounds silly doesn’t it). I had a realization after my original post that some people feel that it is OKAY to abuse/ bully because they are a family member. I think in this case she knows that she can control other people using her tantrums and harassment. At least she can control her parents that way.

We are not getting married any time soon, but I still do not want her there. I doubt that she will apologize or correct her behavior. The night it happened I thought it may have just been because of the alcohol, but the act continued and the harassment increased. She began the silent treatment, yelling, etc…

I think her parents are definitely embarrassed by her behavior and have done their best to ensure that I am comfortable. I don’t think they see her behavior as abusive. It’s viewed as her “struggling” or “begging for attention,” but that is not how adults should act. In a way they are enabling her, but like I said before they won’t punish her because she’s “Struggling”…I worked really hard to avoid her in order to avoid a confrontation or even her screaming at me. I am unsure of how things would have turned out when she came home and I was there.

Anita, you are very understanding. I said the same thing that you mentioned above. I have no problem cutting contact with other people because I realized that abusive people have a problem and will continue their abuse as long as you allow them to. I think he understands why I am angry/upset because it was completely uncalled for. You are right that he is conflicted because he doesn’t know what to do. I don’t think he will ignore his sister or anything for her behavior towards me. I DO NOT want to be stuck to her for the rest of my life. I think that we have different experiences in terms of family as in he always had a loving family while I’ve been pushed over the edge to where I basically had to go no contact. Some people may say that it’s unrealistic to ignore your sibling for your partner, but I would do it if they were harassing my partner for no reason at all! I think that I need to work on accepting my feelings because I keep looking for people to validate whether what I am feeling is okay to feel or if it is wrong.