hi anita
since the day of the outing we supposedly should go together, emotions are stirred up and this sadness of the two of them together finally hit me. i checked their online status,i probed my fd abt them, basically, i was imagining things again.
it was my fd bday earlier and i realized they both went missing from online for the whole night, which was unusal.
i stopped imagining she still loves me . i think the major sadness came from them being together,i was dealing and grieving with the lost of her and someone i love, no i am sad about them being two person that close to me betrayed me.
it seems that i have never really accepted it, probably because i dont have any concrete evidence of it. but i think, everything points to them being very close amd this time i try yo let my heart feel it, its was like what u said, my head knew it, but my mind didnt, and so i let me mind feels it, and its incredibly, incredibly painful.

i have this pain in my chest that is unlike last time, it feels so painful and real.

i am taking a short trip on my own and i decided to take whatsapp out of sight, it seems too painful to see.

i dunno how to deal with this pain other than let time passes.