Thanks a lot anita;) i like the summer b/c the heat from the sun’s rays makes me feel truly alive with energy. i love wearing shorts as i race through the neighborhoods feeling the sun and leaving fear behind. there is still that criticism that i have about myself that tells me that i should strive for more, that i will be perfect and not like the people who are criticizing, but cultivate compassion instead. i hate that voice within me that seems to seek complete perfection of my soul when it seems to bring me down, but at times i relish it because it gives me power and strength knowing that I have ambitions to make myself a better person. The thing I dislike about summer is when I’m out being free and happy, there is always someone who tries to bring me down. There is always a guy who will flirt with me and only look at the surface of what I am and not who I am on the inside. There will be someone who tells me I’m much too pretty to be outside playing sports when I should be cooking or something like that. I don’t care about beauty or athleticism b/c that fades over time, I only want a smart mind and to be happy with myself which will last over time when I celebrate what I have accomplished in life. Rather than being pretty or athletic, I want to use my scientific knowledge to help make the world better through cancer research. I still have to develop more self-confidence and at times I feel like I am too much of a perfectionist. I want to make myself better, more perfect than the people who are criticizing and not even look like them. I think I am a bit afraid to trust others b/c I’m afraid they will see me like that of my mom. I don’t want to even look like her since she doesn’t work out and keep herself healthy like I do and she lets stress get in her way. I think I am the girl who hides herself in her books, out in nature b/c I’m unsure of what I think of myself and distrusting of what the world thinks about me. I am learning how to stand up more confident, but I’m still the ambitious, reserved and serious girl that wants people to know her more as the intelligent and determined person. In that way I’m like the song “Miss Independent” by Kelly Clarkson. I am self-sufficient and I think I guard my heart much like the lyrics “Little Miss Independent. Little Miss Self-sufficient. Little Miss Unafraid. Little miss on her own. Keeping her heart protected she’ll never ever feel rejected.” I feel as if I am more concerned about living a life in which I enrich myself with knowledge and work on attaining power and a self-confidence in myself. Sometimes when I can tell that a guy likes me for the true me, I still hold back. In the song “Miss guarded heart. Little Miss play-it Smart.” I am too busy working on my school work, pulling ahead learning all I can in life that when physical love comes my way I walk away. It’s like I distrust the world b/c of the criticism it used to inflict upon me. In the song “Little Miss Independence walked away, no time for love that came her way. She looked into the mirror and thought today, What happened to Miss no longer afraid?” I think it will take time for me to appreciate myself and convince myself I am already perfect instead of constantly thinking of the ways I can change so I won’t be like the critics. But I wonder if my aim for perfection is caging my own freedom and turning me bitter.