Hey mate,
I really hope you find the change of perspective your looking for. I can see your struggle to articulate and communicate on here, due to your Aspergers. I think this is the big hurdle you need to face.. This may sound ridiculous, but I think you should research theatre and acting, there are lots of studies that have show participation has really helped people on the ASD to clarify their communication skills and understanding of body language. I think I remember reading you mentioning that to be something you struggle with.
Honestly, I think that’s where you need to go to next. Building that confidence in social situations, and confidence in social situations.
Have you been to therapy specifically for your autism? Or do you still do it?