I had to move to Texas at 12 because of a Hurricane, Before that my parents were in a nasty custody battle over my 4 siblings and I for about 2 or 3 years. My home life was always chaotic to a degree because there were always arguments, with my aunt, grandmother and uncle as well as my parents. I can say that I’ve had to deal with a real depression since I was 16-17, I wasn’t diagnosed by a doctor until I was 19. I went through a deep depression around that time because of many reasons, the people that I thought were friends stopped reaching out and I stopped looking to hang out with them, I was in a relationship at the time with someone who was still with her ex and I didn’t find out until months later and I didn’t enjoy life period. I had no friends, I had no one to confide in or talk to, no real happiness, I had nothing, Kinda like now except now I’m moving to a different state.

The girl that was in my life at the time lived in Maine, We had a deep relationship but she was too caught up in her emotions for her ex and did what he did to her to me. I used drugs as she came in and out of my life but only synthetic drugs(K2) I went to rehab and the relationship came out to my mom, she called the ex and cussed her out, my ex texted me later about what happen with her and broke up with me. She came back later that year when I was over her and put me back into this dark place but I kept praying and hoping that things would work out. They never did and I tried to rely on my family a little more but my mom is jealous sometimes and she doesn’t like when anyone “acts fake” so anytime shes involved with a family thing we have to use kiddy gloves or everyone will get cussed out but we won’t have fun either way. I live with my aunt because my mom had a lot of men over, my grandmother(who im really close to) lived in new orleans for a few years but came to live with us and now shes upset and a sad. My aunts gotten married, my sisters engaged and pregnant and my uncle sleeps on a blow up mattress in the living room. I don’t blame anyone for me being sad but I hate not having anyone, I really don’t like being alone, I saw this whole thing, the way I got a girlfriend and I was moving to be with her as a chapter in my life changing but it seems that I’m still on the same pages in the most boring book ever and I don’t want to keep on reading something that never changes.