i realize there is still an inner bully within that keeps telling me to be the most perfect i can be, to be the most athletic, the smartest and then i may be able to please even those who dislike me. this inner bully makes me irritated at myself, but it has started to diminish a little. every time the inner bully seeks to take control such as when a voice tells me “i’ll never be able to be as smart as them since i don’t work as hard.”, my own conscience catches it and i imagine the inner bully like a pencil writing negative words on a paper then i imagine the pencil breaking and i crumple the paper with all the negative views and imagine it being buried in the ground and i tell myself i won’t let this inner bully control who i am. i am not the inner bully that expects me to be perfect in everything. i often enjoy spending time gardening, watching the plants grow and i imagine myself growing taller, stronger and more confident, burying the inner bully beneath me.