Hey guys thank you for replying!

Mahesh, thank you for saying this:”I suggest you to not to focus on why are you feeling so attached to him,instead focus on its such a great thing that I feel attachment to someone” reframing it in my head does help!

Hi Inky! I guess I should give some details. We have known each other for around 2 years but started working in the same division recently. We became very close very quickly and both of us started acting like it was a relationship. It wasn’t platonic anymore so I decided to cut contact a couple of weeks ago, but that triggered a lot more pain than I was expecting. I do agree that it was safe to have feelings for him, since I did not expect them to be returned. I guess answering the why is my way of gaining closure? Or maybe I feel like understanding it will help me feel better, but maybe I just need to wait for it pass and let the why go.

Hi Anita! I did know he was unavailable from the start. The closest I have gotten to understanding is I felt I could count on him, that is he made an effort to be present and that made it feel like the entire burden of the friendship wasn’t on my shoulders, which was very liberating. I have been hurt by friends in the past so I am grateful when my friends are there for me, but I don’t expect them to be. In terms of parents, he and my mum are both soft spoken, so that is a similarity. But I generally like soft spoken people otherwise also.